


half melted m&m's

by bs13



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: All Human AU, F/F, fake marriage AU for the win, kara needs to stop being so nice, lena needs to find some chill, loosely based on The Proposal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-23 03:22:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 28,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10711128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bs13/pseuds/bs13
Summary: Lena needs a fake wife in order to stay in the country, and Kara happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Nothing says true love like marrying the boss your family hates, right? AU.





	1. i act like i don't fucking care

**Author's Note:**

> i love remaking hetero movies with my ships...can you tell? it's very very loosely based on the movie "The Proposal" though. it'll probably be longer + have much more cliches tbh. i have too many works in progress hahaha kill me
> 
> ft.: distant lena, not-really-environmentalist kara, married maggie/alex and their cute daughter jamie, jess as lena's half a friend, and some james/winn if i can squeeze it in!

Kara Danvers is just another face.

It's no fault of hers that she's forgettable. Lena Luthor is just not a people person, and if you were to ask her to pick Kara Danvers from a crowd of blond white women in cardigans and glasses, she surely couldn't do it. That is the Luthor brand, after all; to be impersonal, to treat employees as expandable, to never get attached because sooner or later everyone leaves. It's not a question of if, but rather, a question of when; no one truly sticks with the Luthor name.

So forgive that Lena forgets who Kara is for a moment when she steps into Lena's office, face apologetic and mouth already open to inform her boss of what latest developments are sure to have come up. But Lena takes in the sight of her for so long it hits her. Of course—Kara Danvers. She's been Lena's secondary assistant for the longest yet, working for about a year, and she is without a doubt the smallest, meekest person Lena has ever met.

And Lena gets an idea.

"Kara, darling, do come in," she says, waving her inside.

The confusion on Kara's face is palpable. Lena's never called her Kara, she knows. If Lena does speak to her, it's always been _Ms. Danvers_ , and even then she hardly has a need to speak to Kara. Jess—Lena's primary assistant—is who Kara reports to, not Lena herself. But Kara seems to recognize the severity of the situation, because she steps into the room nonetheless, despite any confusion she has at the pet name. She looks as hesitant as expected, closing the door behind her too gently; it is, after all, the most common reaction when faced with a room full of three Luthors.

Lilian and Lex both have turned at Kara's arrival, and Kara awkwardly steps further into the room. For her credit, she doesn't falter at the sight of her boss's mother and brother, infamous as they are around the office. Lena knows her employees are well-versed in any and all Luthor drama, and Kara shouldn't be any different.

"Ms. Luthor?" Kara questions, poised and ready to take her orders, though she grips the clipboard in her hands a tad too tightly.

"You needn't be so formal, Kara," says Lena airily, and oh, she so does love the result; Kara's confusion only grows, eyes darting from Lena to Lilian and then Lex, both of which look instantly wary. "I was just about to tell Lex and my mother about our engagement."

The reaction from Lilian is undoubtedly the best; her jaw clenches tightly, her eyes hardening as they fix on the smallest details of Kara—her wrinkled cardigan, her glasses, the way Kara's hands flit around nervously. Lex looks mostly impressed, eyebrow raised at his sister as if to say _well played_.

But Kara? Oh, poor Kara. Her face goes red under Lena's gaze, her mouth falls open, and she chokes out, "Engage—engagement?" At the instantly suspicious looks of Lilian and Lex, Kara amends, "Yes! Of course, that's right. Our...engagement.

Only a fool would dare challenge Lena Luthor's word before her family, but Lena still feels relief flood through her the second Kara decides to play along. Lena takes pity on the girl (who is a shade of rather alarming red now), redirecting her attention to her mother instead.

"As you can see," Lena says, dangerously cool, "there is nothing to worry about since Kara and I are getting married. You remember Kara, don't you? She's one of my assistants."

Lilian has never been a good mother, has never talked to her daughter of matters of the heart, has never had reason to doubt her daughter's tale now, but she _is_ a Luthor. And when she meets Lena's eyes, they're as cold and calculating as ever.

"Well," says Lilian slowly, crossing her arms, "I suppose congratulations for you and—your _employee_ are in order." There is no disappointment in her voice, no false happiness, nothing but cool neutrality in her tone. Her eyes, however, tell a different story; they are sharp and steely as she all but glares at a slightly terrified Kara.

"Thank you, we're absolutely thrilled." Lena steps in front of Kara, daring her mother to redirect her gaze. "Now, what would the lawyers say about this?"

It's Lex who speaks up. "This is great, sis. Just make it legal, so we can keep immigration out of our business," he says, scratching his jaw thoughtfully. "I'm sure there will have to be some investigation on their behalf to make sure this is real, but that can't take too long."

Lena risks a glance at Kara, who looks so lost it's almost a pity. So she gently touches Kara's elbow, startling the poor girl enough to make her jump.

"You had something to tell me," Lena reminds her, eyebrows raised expectantly when Kara gapes at her.

Kara blinks, eyes widening as she remembers she's in a room with her boss and her family. "Oh! Um, the Japanese investors are on the line," she says. "Shall I...tell them you'll call them back?"

"Yes. Let them know to expect my call by three," Lena replies. "Have you taken your lunch yet?"

Kara is visibly taken aback by the question. "I—no, Ms. Luthor. I-I mean, um," she fumbles to speak, clearly unable to even form the name _Lena_ , her eyes darting frantically to Lilian. "Lena."

It's a weak attempt. The girl honestly can't act.

But, "I'll call the investors myself, later. You go ahead and take your lunch while I finish up here," Lena says. "I'll join you shortly."

Kara nods. "Yes, I'll—be there. At lunch." She quickly turns and walks out of the room, nearly colliding into the door.

"Well," Lex remarks into the following silence as Kara disappears, "you sure know how to pick them."

Lena crosses her arms smugly, if only to see how Lilian's coldness begins to border anger. "I'll take that as a compliment," she says snidely, "considering you once dated Clark Kent."

It's a jab Lilian takes harder than Lex does, her fury finally coming out in her voice when she says, "I know what you're doing, Lena. It's not too late to sort this out in a civil manner."

"Civil?" Lena laughs shortly, the sound flat as she shakes her head. "No. I know what this is really about, mother."

"Oh?" Lilian is baiting her, daring her to say it. To finally voice her disdain for the Luthor name, to finally call her mother out on her blatant favoritism while Lex waits there unaware of the simmering tension.

Lena walks to her desk instead, taking a seat and pulling out her notes on the latest company meeting. "Yes, and forgive me, but I have work to do," she says. "Shall I have Jess show you out?"

There is something in Lilian's eyes, something dangerous that really ought to make Lena more nervous than it does, but it's gone as soon as it appears.

"No," Lilian says. "Lex and I know the way."

She and Lex leave a minute later, Lex offering his congratulations once more before the door clicks shut behind them. Lena exhales deeply once they're gone, her fingers tapping against her desk as she finally risks a glance at the papers Lilian had set on her desk when they first walked in.

She gets as far as the words _immigration lawyer_ before she feels sick, stomach clenching and chest tightening as she shoves the papers away. They flutter to the floor, paper innocently ruffling as it does, and Lena wants to yell. Or even just set them on fire a little.

She calls Jess into her office instead. "I need you to call Kara Danvers to my office," she says, rubbing her temple as she feels a headache oncoming. "And pick us up lunch from the bistro across the street."

"Lunch for both of you?" Jess asks, and if there's any surprise in the question, it's masked well.

"Yes. That'll be all."

Lena refocuses on her notes as the door shuts behind Jess. The quiet of her office feels suffocating today, makes her hyperaware of every sound she makes, of every flip of a page and every scratch of her pen. By the time Kara finally shows up, door cracking open hesitantly as she steps inside, Lena's head is throbbing.

"You wanted to see me, Ms. Luthor?" Kara says patiently, tugging on the sleeves of her cardigan nervously. She doesn't mention their "engagement," nor does she address the obvious unethical mess that seems to be unfolding; no, she's the picture-perfect Luthor Corp employee, obedient and unquestioning, ready to take anything Lena throws at her.

Logically, in the back of her mind, Lena knows it's not because of loyalty. Kara is not standing here because she believes Lena is a good person. Kara is not standing here because she wants to help. No, Kara is here because of the fear that Lena's name inspires, because of the job that Lena could easily take away, because of the unquestionable conflict brewing that she needs to handle lest Lena's empire fall apart beneath her fingertips. Part of her resents the other woman, because Kara Danvers owes Lena nothing, and yet, Lena is about to owe her everything.

"Yes," Lena replies sharply, voice cold as she jerks her chin up to face Kara. "Sit. We have a lot to talk about." It's not until Kara does exactly that, smoothing her skirt over her knees, that Lena speaks again. "Tell me, what do you know about my brother?"

Kara's head jerks up. "Um," she says. "I know that he used to be CEO? Before you, of course. But that's it."

Lena doesn't know if she's lying or not. It's something any other employee would know—that Lex, after a scandal involving drunk driving, prostitutes, and misplaced company funds—gracelessly fell from public approval, and he was voted to be removed as head of the company by his own council. As the company CFO and named executive president, Lena was thrown into Lex's position just about three years ago, much to her mother's disapproval. Lena tells this all to Kara anyway, and for someone in the thick of the Luthor name, Kara sure seems surprised; her eyes widen to about twice their size when Lena's done recounting the story.

"Something else you may not know," Lena divulges rather reluctantly, "is that I was born in Ireland. The Luthors adopted me when I was about ten. They postponed acquiring my U.S. citizenship for years, and because of their pull I suppose no one questioned it."

"I'm sorry," Kara says softly, and Lena's brow furrows, because no one has ever interrupted her before. Kara seems to remember this as well, because she visibly blanches. "I-I mean, I'm adopted too. So I know what it's like."

"Yes, well." Lena looks down at her desk, unsure of any witty reply she can give to that, especially when Kara sounds so sympathetic. "As you may know, the process to become a citizen is quite extensive. Since I haven't gotten around to it yet, I have a work visa."

Kara nods along as Lena rushes through the story, glossing over parts she doesn't wish to get into, but Kara's confusion is still evident. It's suddenly quite clear she has no idea what Lena has done, and that hits Lena harder than it should. _The poor, innocent girl._

"My visa is expiring soon," Lena continues, then, deciding to cross that bridge later. "Usually that isn't an issue, because I have some...connections that let me renew it quicker than usual." She notes that Kara looks particularly uncomfortable at this part, and that's just her luck, to get the most law-abiding citizen in this godforsaken city. "But it seems that Lex is gaining the board's approval again, and if I were to suddenly leave, well, it's expected that the council would not hesitate to reelect him."

Kara seems to be catching on, because her mouth falls open a little. "Your family...they want to _deport_ you?" she says, shocked. "But that's—that's not very nice!"

 _Nice_? Great, this girl is practically a Girl Scout.

"That's why I need your help," Lena finally says, uncharacteristically nervous as she fidgets with her pen. "My mother likely was the one who even brought up my visa to the immgration lawyers. I don't know if Lex has anything to do with this, but..." She trails off, unwilling to go down that route. A part of her foolishly hopes he doesn't and that he's in the dark like Lena is supposed to be, but she figures that's wishful thinking.

"Gosh, that's—awful," Kara says, and she blinks, the rest of the words sinking in. "So what can I do?"

Lena sighs. "I need you to marry me."

Kara freezes. There's no other way to describe it. Her eyes widen, her mouth drops, and she stares, unmoving, unblinking, for all of ten seconds before she sputters, " _What_?"

"My family already thinks we're engaged, Ms. Danvers," Lena explains, calm even though her stomach sinks. "If we were married, it would remedy this situation fairly quickly. I assure you, I will get my visa renewed soon afterward and we could divorce in no time. I just need to make sure I keep my job."

There's more to that, of course. Lena needs to keep more than her job; she needs to keep her dignity, her freedom from her mother's grasp, her legacy. If she needs to do that from this hell tower every day for the rest of her life, then so be it.

"I-I don't know, Ms. Luthor!" Kara's face falls, and the worst part is that she truly seems sorry to not be saying an enthusiastic yes. "That's—a crime, isn't it?"

Lena wishes it had been Jess that walked through that door earlier. Jess certainly wouldn't have taken so long to agree; Lena would go as far as argue that they're almost friends. But unfortunately, Kara is the only option. Pastel-wearing, baby-faced, and probably-environmentalist Kara Danvers. Lena can't afford a no, so she leans forward, ready to offer whatever it takes.

"I assure you, this will be mutually beneficial," Lena promises. "I can compensate you if you'd like. Just name your price."

That only seems to panic Kara further. "Oh no, Ms. Luthor!" she cries. "I'm not—this isn't a money thing."

"Then what is it? Do you have someone in your life?" Lena questions, raising an eyebrow because wouldn't _that_ be interesting.

"No, the last time I was in a relationship was a year ago, so..." Kara trails off, then blushes a low pink. "I'm sorry, that's unprofessional of me to say."

"Ms. Danvers, considering I'm asking you to marry me, I'd say nothing is out of bounds," Lena says with a smirk, delighting in how red Kara gets.

"I'm just...not sure," Kara admits, feebly adjusting her glasses. "I don't mean to disrespect you, Ms. Luthor, I would never! But breaking the _law_? My sister-in-law is a cop, so she'd never let me live it down, and my sister would laugh a lot and then get really mad, probably. And my parents—oh, Eliza would be so disappointed—"

"Ms. Danvers," Lena cuts her off. "You don't have to do anything you're morally opposed to."

Lena knows that she's going to lose everything. If she is deported to Ireland and Lex is put in her place, she knows that he will buckle under the pressure again and Lilian will slowly begin to take over. Lena will be forgotten, and everything she's worked for—every proposal, every new piece of technology her labs are working on—will never see the light of day. Lena _needs_ Kara, as desperate and pathetic as it is, and any answer beside yes is destined to doom her. But Lena is also not like her mother. Lilian Luthor would stare Kara Danvers dead in the eye and threaten her, force her, to do as she asked. Lilian Luthor would destroy Kara Danvers's spirit only to build it up in a pitying, sadistic way to watch it happen again. And Lena would never— _could_ never—be so despicable.

Kara hesitates, not relieved, but resigned; worried. "I don't know your mother," she says after a moment. "But I can't—I can't just do nothing. It sounds like she's not a very good person! No offense."

"None taken," Lena says, and she tiredly leans back in her chair, rubbing at her temples again. The only thing that distracts her from the turmoil playing out over Kara's face is a knock at the door as Jess announces herself. "Come in, Jess," Lena calls, shifting back into place as the door opens.

"Your lunch, Ms. Luthor," Jess says as she walks in, eyeing Kara suspiciously as she sets the bag onto Lena's desk. "Do you need anything else?"

"No, thank you," Lena answers, grateful that Jess doesn't stick around, just nods and walks out as quickly as she came. "I hope you're not a vegetarian," she says to Kara as she shifts through the bag to get the pastrami sandwiches Jess has brought.

Kara looks startled as Lena passes her a sandwich. "You didn't have to buy me lunch," she says weakly, but she's eyeing it so hungrily Lena just scoffs and unwraps her own sandwich.

"I did rudely take your lunch hour away." Lena takes a bite, amused as she watches Kara practically shove half of the sandwich into her mouth.

Kara slows down halfway through, absentmindedly smearing mustard over her thumb as she wipes her lips. She looks deep in thought, distraught even, so Lena doesn't try and say anything else. It can't have been long—maybe just five minutes of full silence—before Kara seemingly cracks, shoulders sagging in defeat when she prompts,

"Ms. Luthor?"

"Hmm?" Lena looks up from her lunch, heart in throat at the underlaying apprehensiveness of Kara's voice.

"I'll...I'll do it," Kara says, readjusting her glasses in what must be a nervous tic sort of way, her words coming out stronger than before, firm and sure. "What do I need to do?"

(And Lena breathes, really breathes, for the first time all morning.)

.

.

.

Kara leaves work feeling absolutely overwrought.

The bus stop is a street over, but Kara walks right past it, gripping her bag so tightly it's a wonder she doesn't lose all feeling in her fingers. She eventually sits down on a bench when she's about two blocks away from the L-Corp building, and that's just to call Alex to come pick her up. Alex agrees readily, just as she always does, and at least that part of Kara's life remains the same.

Alex shows up in ten minutes. It takes all of Kara's self control not to spill about _everything_ —about her newfound "engagement," about her worries about Lena's family, about the awkwardness to even refer to her boss as Lena in the first place—but she keeps her mouth shut. That had been one of Lena's firmest conditions about this arrangement; no one, except Jess who knows the extent of their limited interactions, is to know the engagement is fake. To everyone else, Kara is supposed to have been having a six-month office romance with her boss, having been unwilling to share this part of her life yet.

(The real Kara would never be so secretive, and it hurts to think about it.)

"Hey, Kara," Alex says as Kara gets into the car. "Did you miss the bus again?"

"Yeah," Kara laughs awkwardly, hand going to her glasses. "You know me, I get so in my head sometimes."

"Or you're just overworked," Alex says, rolling her eyes. Alex has always had a quiet disdain of Lena Luthor, one Kara insists is unwarranted, because she's never—up to this point, anyway—known Lena well enough to make a judgment on her character. Even now, it's clear Lena doesn't try to be unintentionally cruel; she's just hard-working, and if that means piling lots of tasks on her assistants, then so be it.

"How's the party planning going?" Kara asks, changing the subject and opting not to reply to the accusation; she'd prefer to leave work out of her thoughts tonight.

Alex groans. "I swear, J'onn can read minds," she grumbles as she pulls away from the curb. "Winn just _mentioned_ the beach house in passing, and J'onn called me today and said to make sure to make his cake red velvet this time around."

Kara giggles, mood lifting slightly. This marks the third year and counting that J'onn has caught wind of the "surprise" birthday parties that Alex plans.

"Well," Kara teases, "I guess we don't have to leave him out of the planning again."

"Yeah, but now he keeps trying to tell me that he doesn't like the beach," Alex says, because that too is a recurring theme every year; every time J'onn catches wind of a party they're throwing for him, he tries to cancel it. "But Mom already rented it, so there's no way he's _not_ getting his party."

"Speaking of," Kara says, and she hesitates because Lena is going to _hate_ this, "can I bring someone?"

"To the party?" Alex asks, bewildered. It certainly is a strange request, since all of Kara's friends are already invited. "I don't see why not. Is it someone we know?"

"Sort of," Kara says. "I mean...you know _of_ her."

"Okay, well, who?"

Kara hesitates. "Lena Luthor?" she answers meekly.

Alex is quiet for about thirty seconds before she says, ever-so-calmly, "What."

"She's—she's sort of my girlfriend," Kara says, because that's what they've agreed on: Kara can tell people Lena is her girlfriend, but not that they're engaged yet.

Alex nearly slams on the brakes at the upcoming red light, jostling Kara forward; the seat belt across her chest thankfully is there to snap her back.

"Very funny, Kara. Really. I didn't know you were such a comedian," Alex says sharply. "Can you maybe not give me a heart attack while I'm driving?"

"Alex," says Kara, a little hurt now, "I'm not joking."

Alex shakes her head. "You know what? I'm not—let's not talk about this right now. Let's go over to Mom's."

"Fine." Kara turns towards the window and tries not to be hurt by the way Alex drives a little faster and turns her music a little louder, the way Alex tends to do when she's mad. Alex isn't supposed to judge her. That's what sisters are there for! But it seems like she's missed the memo, because instead of being excited for her little sister, Alex stays stoic the rest of the drive.

When they get to Eliza's, Alex finally speaks. "Your girlfriend, huh?"

"Yes." Kara's heart thumps hard in her chest hopefully because Alex doesn't look mad now, just pensive. "We've been dating for six months."

"Six months?" Alex's voice comes out hurt, even though she tries to hide it. "Why didn't you tell me?" She truly looks distressed at that, because she and Kara tell each other everything. "I thought you weren't ready to date again."

Kara has to scramble to think of a good lie. It's true that for the past year she's been insisting that she doesn't want to date again because she's not ready. Alex has had to sit through stories of Kara's awful attempts of online dating, even; it's going to be hard to try and rationalize her behavior these past six months.

"We didn't want anyone to know," Kara says, finally. "Because she's my boss and all."

"Not even me?" Alex asks. "You know I'd never tell anyone, Kara."

"I know. I'm sorry," Kara says quietly. "It hurt me not to tell you. But Lena and I were just,"—here, she tries valiantly to think of a good way not to throw Lena under the bus for everything—"trying to keep it casual. I didn't want you to judge me if it didn't work out."

Alex reaches over to tuck a strand of hair behind Kara's ear. "Come on," she says, "let's go in so you can tell me everything. Mom's going to lose her shit when she finds out."

Kara exhales, relieved all at once but also instantly guilty. She's glad Alex is tentatively on board, but at the same time it's going to be even harder to try and convince her family she's in love with a complete stranger. (A stranger Alex sort of hates, too.)

Eliza is chopping carrots when Kara and Alex come in, likely preparing a salad for dinner. "My kids remembered to visit," she teases as both her daughters press a kiss to her cheek. "J'onn and Maggie are out back if you want to help them, Alex. Kara, you can come help me slice some cucumbers."

"Don't tell me—they're trying to set up that swingset again, aren't they?" Alex groans, already halfway to the back door. "I'll be back."

While Alex leaves, Kara steals a piece of carrot from the salad bowl and watches Eliza chop some more. Eliza swats her hands away when Kara goes in for a second, pointing her to the cucumbers waiting on the cutting board instead.

"You're here early. Did you miss your bus again?" Eliza asks.

"Sort of." Kara gingerly takes a knife and starts to chop. She's never been good at mastering a knife, so the slices come out uneven. "It was a very interesting day."

Eliza hums disapprovingly. Like Alex, she's never approved of Kara's job. "That boss of yours overworking you again?"

"No, she...she just needed me," Kara says vaguely. "Listen, about my boss—"

She's interrupted when the front door swings open. Winn and James, honorary members of the Danvers family, have come back from what must've been a trip to the grocery store per Eliza's request; they're laden with grocery bags. Jamie, Maggie and Alex's two-year-old, is even cradling a bag in her arms.

"Ahn Kara!" Jamie shrieks, running to latch onto Kara's legs, impatiently holding up her arms until Kara drops the knife and picks her up. "I got chips!"

"Oh wow, you got chips?" Kara gasps, feigning amazement.

"Yeah!" Jamie thrusts the bag in Kara's face, smashing the package against Kara's glasses. "Open it!"

Eliza takes the bag before Kara can even try to free herself from the attack, smiling in amusement. "Jamie, sweetie, we need to have dinner first. How about you help your Aunt Kara make the salad?"

"Okay! I wanna help," Jamie tells Kara seriously, squeezing her arms around Kara's neck until Kara surrenders and takes her over to the salad bowl.

Eliza finishes up the carrots and cucumbers, opting to start making lemonade while Kara lets Jamie stir the salad with a spoon. James and Winn start depositing what they'd brought on the table: cherry tomatoes, more chips, hot dog buns and dressings for the hot dogs.

"Kara," James says, obviously surprised when he catches sight of her. "You're not late. Did you miss your bus again?"

"Why is everyone so surprised that I'm here early?" Kara complains. "Maybe I took an earlier bus!"

"Not with the way Lena Luthor works you," Winn snorts. "Do you know she's expected to make the cover of Catco's women in power issue this year? Cat is furious because we can't even get an interview. Either that woman is too busy or she's just not interested. I'm betting both, to be honest."

"No surprise there," James says, shaking his head. "I interviewed her brother when he was still CEO. The Luthors are pretty aloof people."

"Well maybe that's because you don't know them," Kara blurts out. "Since you're strangers and everything."

Winn shrugs. "Maybe," he agrees, though it's clear he really doesn't care about the matter. Kara, on the other hand, feels protectiveness surge in her chest at the thought of Lena who isn't cold so much as she is guarded.

"You work for her Kara," James says, eyebrows raised expectantly. "Don't you know what goes on with her? Is she really screening all of Ms. Grant's calls?"

Kara flushes. "What is that supposed to mean? I don't—I don't know what _goes on_ with her. I'm not even her primary assistant. I report to Jess! You remember. So. Yeah."

There is a confused moment of silence. James and Winn exchange glances. Eliza stops squeezing lemons. Even Jamie looks up from the salad bowl. (Jamie goes back to it in a second, uninterested in Kara's rambling, but it still happens.)

At that moment, Alex has chosen to return inside, door sliding shut behind her as she mutters under her breath about stubbornness. When she sees everyone staring curiously at Kara, she rolls her eyes.

"So I take it Kara told you guys she's dating her boss?" Alex asks.

Jamie shrieks at the sound of her mother's voice. "Mama!" she yells. "Look, I'm helping!"

Alex's reply to her daughter is drowned out. Mostly by Kara's groan of _no, I did not_ , but also by James's _wait, what?_ and Winn's _no way, are you dating Lena Luthor?_

"I...meant to tell you guys sooner," Kara says meekly, when the hubbub dies down and everyone is looking at her expectantly. "But. Surprise?"

"Wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry, did I miss something? When did you and _Lena Luthor_ —" Winn stops, helplessly, gesturing for James to pick up on his train of thought.

"That's, um, that's great Kara," James says instead, blinking his surprise away. "How long have you guys been together?"

Kara pauses, trying to remember. "About six months," she replies carefully, making sure not to betray the truth on accident.

"For the record I've always thought she was a great person, even if she does ignore Ms. Grant's calls," interjects Winn quickly. "So, uh, congrats on dating your boss!"

(Kara opens her mouth to argue that Lena doesn't, in fact, ignore Ms. Grant's calls but realizes she has no idea if that's true.)

"I'm so glad you told us, Kara," Eliza says, wiping her hands off on a towel so she can squeeze Kara's shoulder. "But don't think you're getting off so easy for keeping this from us for six whole months! Tell us all about her. What's she like?"

"And has she ever _mentioned_ Cat?"

"Winn."

"What? It's a valid question."

Kara laughs nervously, hand going up to her glasses as everyone's eyes end up on her again. She and Lena had agreed on a generic story of how they started dating, but it's one thing to make it up; it's another to sell the story and act the part of someone in love. But, well:

"Right," Kara says, smile just a little forced, "I'll—I'll tell you guys about her."

(Lena honestly owes her a raise.)


	2. sweetest sadness in your eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to ciara and jenni rivera - their music finally got me through this chapter lmao. i'm sorry it took so long to update! i have been lacking in inspiration (and i rewrote that ending scene too many times to count), so it's been quite a while! i don't really like this chapter, but hopefully it helps to further the plot? sort of?
> 
> i'm still sticking to the proposal plot for now, but obviously i've changed a lot of the dialogue/actions to better fit kara and lena's characters (and added some extra obstacles). but anyway, have some dramatic lena and awkward kara. these losers are so dumb

It's too quiet.

Kara hears every small sound in the large conference room: the scratch of Jess's pen, the steady tap of Lena's fingernails against the table, the squeaks in Kara's own chair. Lena's lawyer, introduced just minutes ago as a Mr. Snapper Carr, ruffles papers in a way that seems the loudest in this stifling atmosphere even though that's the one sound Kara has to strain to hear. He manages to flip through the pages almost silently, like he's practiced this several times, but the way Lena's eyes flicker anxiously to the pages is enough to make Kara hyperaware of them. (Plus Lena's leg keeps knocking against Kara's underneath the table and it doesn't take a genius to guess why.)

"Alright, Ms. Luthor," Snapper says, finally speaking. He looks up, glasses slipping on the bridge of his nose, not without a critical glare at Kara as he addresses Lena. "It seems like your paperwork is in order. If you and your fiancé would like, we can schedule an appointment with the immigration office next weekend."

 _Next weekend_? Kara thinks about J'onn's party and panics. Just as Lena is nodding her head, about to speak, Kara finds herself blurting out,

"That won't work!"

Disgust is the only word that can describe the look on Snapper's face. "Did I ask you anything, ponytail?" he asks. It's clearly a rhetorical question, but Kara surges on anyway.

"It's my Dad's birthday," she clarifies, her own leg shaking a little now under Snapper's scrutinizing glare. "And we're driving out to the coast. So we won't be in the city."

"That's right, I'm sorry. I completely forgot about your Dad's birthday," Lena says. Kara dares to glance at her, afraid it will be like catching the eye of a fire-breathing dragon, but Lena only smiles apologetically ( _how_ is she such a good actress?) and takes Kara's hand in her own. "I'm sure it's possible to schedule our appointment at a different time, right?"

Kara feels herself freeze the second Lena's hand touches hers. She knows they're supposed to be playing the part of two people in love and all, but this is her _boss_. Her boss with really soft skin. And who apparently is one of those intertwine-fingers-as-we-hold-hands kind of person.

Snapper grunts, annoyed, and Kara is brought back to reality. "Fine," he says, still glaring at Kara when she looks back at him. "We can switch it to the weekend after."

Kara tries her best not to glare back, instead trying to train her face into something neutral. But at that moment Lena's hand squeezes hers hard, almost involuntarily, and Kara grimaces just as Lena lets go.

"That would be perfect," Lena says with a warm smile, offering her now free hand to shake. "Thank you for coming in, Mr. Carr."

"It was my pleasure," Snapper grumbles in a way that means it really wasn't, but Kara can see he has a clear soft spot for Lena; his glare softens noticeably, and he shakes her hand with both of his in a way that's more friendly than Kara's seen him be this entire time.

Lena looks at Kara pointedly afterwards. Kara meets her eye, confused for all of three seconds before she realizes how rude she seems. "Right! Yes, thank you so much," she says, holding out her own hand.

Snapper's glare comes back full force, then, but he shakes Kara's hand anyway. He even nods in Jess's direction as he takes his leave, shutting the door of the conference room behind him. Lena exhales sharply when he's gone, sliding out of her chair in one fluid motion. There is a frown on her face, a small, displeased crease between her eyes as she crosses her arms and looks to Jess.

"Jess, thank you for sitting in. You can go back to the phones, if you'd like," Lena says. "I'll revise your notes myself."

"Of course, Ms. Luthor. Shall I call for your 10 o'clock?" Jess asks, passing Lena the notepad she's been taking notes on as she gets up too.

"No, I don't have the energy to deal with that today. Please cancel up until my 12 o'clock," Lena says with a sigh, delving into a few rearrangements in her schedule as Jess nods along to whatever Lena tells her.

Kara, still sitting, fidgets in her seat and debates slipping out of the room. She has a ton of work to finish that's sitting on her desk, mostly reports she needs to review and send off and numbers she has to crunch. At the same time, she daydreams about being able to avoid it a little longer. (She still has to deliver a report to the IT branch and one of the technicians there flirts with her too much.)

Jess leaves, eventually. And Kara is left alone with Lena, who suddenly looks more formal than anytime Kara has ever seen her, arms still crossed as she towers over Kara appraisingly. (Kara wishes she had at least stood up at this point.)

"I admire your gumption, Ms. Danvers," Lena says. "Normally I would have said you buying us more time is a good thing, but you could have at least given me a _warning_ before you made a fool of me in front of my lawyer."

"Ms. Luthor, I am _so_ sorry," Kara apologizes, jumping to her feet so fast her chair falls. "I didn't mean to take over your meeting like that."

A huff of a dry laugh escapes Lena's lips. "Well, it's a bit late for that, isn't it?" she says, cold enough that Kara feels her face fall, and the crease on Lena's forehead gives way to an apologetic raise of her eyebrows. "That was uncalled for. I'm sorry. You're doing me a huge favor and I don't want to seem ungrateful, I promise. It has just been a very stressful morning."

Kara knows, objectively, that she doesn't know her boss very well; she can count on one hand the number of direct interactions they've ever had. But at the same time, this is the most _tired_ she has ever seen Lena; she sees the way Lena's dress shirt is wrinkled at the hem; she sees way Lena's eyes struggle to stay open; she sees the way she grips at her shoulder like it's aching to even move.

"It's alright, Ms. Luthor," Kara says. "I can't imagine what you're going through."

"That's the thing. You don't." Lena seems to slump in on herself, leaning against the table with a heavy sigh. "I don't know _you_ , Ms. Danvers. I'm in over my head and my company—my _legacy_ —rests in whether or not you and I can pretend to be engaged. I don't mean to be rude, but forgive me; I just wish there was another way."

Kara nods, slowly and thoughtfully, because she can't imagine being in that position. She may know a lot about Lena Luthor courtesy of Jess, but to Lena, she is a complete stranger. A stranger she doesn't know if she can trust, much less marry.

"Well," Kara says after a moment's hesitation, "all we have to do is get through that interview, right? We'll just have to learn all about each other and pass it with flying colors. The marriage stuff will be easy enough."

Lena scoffs, though not unkindly. "You are too optimistic, Ms. Danvers," she murmurs, voice lighter than earlier. "But you make a good point. First and foremost, I think it's high time you started calling me Lena."

"Well if I'm calling you _Lena_..." Kara hints, trying the name on her tongue.

"Kara it is," Lena finishes, smiling just the slightest when Kara beams at her. "I feel bad for making you do this, you know. I really can't thank you enough."

"No, please, any person would do the same," Kara says, shaking her head.

"Somehow I find that hard to believe," Lena says softly, a far-off look in her eyes when Kara regards her quietly. "I really would like to compensate you for this." Before Kara can object, she adds, "Not monetarily, if you'd prefer. But anything I can do, anything at all—just let me know."

Kara thinks about J'onn and his party and how Alex is going to be absolutely _insufferable_ but she pushes past the thought and says, "Actually, there is _one_ thing..."

"Anything. You name it," Lena says, looking at Kara expectantly.

"I don't want to seem like I'm taking advantage, but," Kara hesitates, "would you actually come out to the coast with me next weekend? For my Dad's birthday. It's just," she tacks on when Lena's eyes widen in surprise, "my family really wants to meet you and I wanted to tell them about us then. I mean, they know about us already. Not the real us. The fake dating us. And I want them to know about the fake, um, _engaged_ us. I understand if this is crossing so many boundaries—"

"Breathe, Kara," Lena cuts her off. She doesn't look mad, just pensive; she is the one doing the regarding now, studying Kara's face so intently it's as if they've never met before. "Going to your Dad's birthday with you is the least I can do."

Kara exhales. "Thank you," she says gratefully. "I do have to warn you, though. My family have never really liked my job. Or you, by extension. W-which I've told them is crazy, because they don't even know you! I promise I love my job and I would never want to seem ungrateful about it but they've just noticed I keep odd hours and I'm usually up early and home late so—"

"Kara." Lena pushes off the table, a smirk forming on her lips. "I can handle it, trust me. Something that comes with the Luthor name is a reputation of being ruthless. Even though I'd like to think I'm not as bad as my mother, everyone in National City seems to have an opinion of me: reckless daughter, autocrat, bitch. I've dealt with every variation of every judgement you can think of. I'm not offended that your family thinks the same."

"They don't think _that_ badly of you," Kara protests. "They're just—uninformed. They'll warm up to you, I promise." _She_ feels warm all of a sudden, flushed with embarrassment over divulging all of this while Lena just hums noncommittally and goes to pick up the notes Jess had written.

Lena doesn't look convinced. "Well, send me the details of the party," she says, angling away from Kara in what can only be a dismissal. Gone is the smirk, replaced with a grim press of her lips into a thin line as she reads Jess's notes. "We can discuss logistics later."

"Right. And I'll—go back to work," Kara says, pushing her glasses up on her face awkwardly. When it's clear Lena doesn't have anything else to say, Kara slips out of the conference room and heads to her desk dejectedly.

She doesn't expect anything to come from this deal with Lena. _Honest_. But at the very least, she hopes they could be something more than employee/employer. Something more like friends. But Lena seems content to keep Kara at an arm's length, to only include her when necessary, and it feels more like a regression than a progression. Kara is going to have to _marry_ Lena. And stay married to her for who knows how long. Kara doesn't even know the details. Are they going to have a real wedding? Are they going to have to live in the same apartment? (Is Kara going to be allowed to keep her job?)

Kara is so caught up in her thoughts that she doesn't even realize she's bumped into someone until it's too late, and then a flurry of papers go flying. Kara tries, in vain, to catch them but then she realizes whoever she bumped into must have been holding hot coffee as well; it's spilled down her front and is just beginning to soak through her shirt, just above her collarbone.

A quiet hiss of pain escapes before Kara can reign it in. "I'm so sorry," she says, gripping her shoulder helplessly as if that's going to help, pivoting on her heel to try and apologize to whoever she bumped into.

Veronica Sinclair glares back. "Watch where you're going," she says in a cold, blasé manner that Kara has come to recognize as just the way Veronica speaks.

Because of course Kara knows Veronica Sinclair. She is a longtime investor in Luthor Corp, as well as a notorious on-and-off flame of Lena's. Kara had just begun working the last time Veronica had stepped foot in this building almost a year ago; she can still remember hearing Lena scream cruel words the whole floor could hear, can still remember the way Veronica's heels had clicked so loudly as she walked out, can still remember the way Lena hadn't left her office for days and how only Jess could coax her into eating or sleeping.

"Ms. Sinclair," Kara blurts out. It's clear Veronica doesn't remember her, but Kara smiles despite the throbbing pain of her burned skin and asks, "Do you need an escort to Ms. Luthor's office? I would be more than happy to—"

"I know the way," Veronica cuts her off. "You should go change your shirt." She turns and leaves the mess on the floor behind, ignoring the fact that those papers she dropped are likely important.

Kara scrambles to grab as many of the coffee-free papers as she can and follow Veronica, running to catch up before Veronica can get to Lena's door. "I really should let Ms. Luthor know of your arrival first, she may be with a client—" she begins before she's cut off again.

"I don't know you," Veronica says, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. "Do you know who I am?"

Kara crosses her arms and tries not to look like she's shaking. "I know you broke Ms. Luthor's heart," she says, then falters. "I-I mean, no. No you didn't. That would be—unprofessional of me to know."

Veronica dons a slow, predatory smile all at once. "You've got some bite to you," she observes. "Okay. Why don't you go tell Ms. Luthor that I'd like to review some of my contracts."

"Of course. You're, um, more than welcome to wait outside," Kara says, vaguely gesturing to the couches situated by her desk as she half-walks, half-stumbles into Lena's office without so much as a knock.

Lena is sitting at her desk, probably having just reentered after leaving the conference room; she looks up in surprised when her door bangs open. There is a question on her lips, but Kara beats her to the punch.

"I'm sorry to barge in like this. But um, Veronica Sinclair is outside?" Kara winces at the way Lena's jaw tightens, at the storm brewing in her eyes. "I know you two parted on bad terms. Wait, that was nosey of me, I'm sorry."

"It's not a secret," Lena huffs bitterly. "God, I haven't seen her in so long." She gnaws on her nail for a moment, gazing off into nothing as Kara shifts in her spot uncomfortably (that coffee burn _hurts_ ). "What does she want?" she asks, finally.

"She said she wants to review some contracts? Should I send her away, or—"

"No. Let her come in," Lena says, shaking her head. She stands up, fixing papers on her desk and smoothing down her dress in what must be a nervous tic of hers. "I'll have to face her sooner or later, it's only right that I—" She stops. "What happened to your shirt?"

Kara unconsciously goes to touch the stain. "This? It's nothing, I just might have, um, crashed into Ms. Sinclair. On accident! It was an accident."

"I bet she loved that," Lena snorts, bending down to rummage in one of her desk drawers. "Here, I think I've got a shirt in here somewhere. It might be a tight fight, but..." She fishes a blouse that looks like it costs more than Kara's rent and holds it out apologetically. "I have others, too."

"No, this is—this is perfect, thank you," Kara says, bewildered as she accepts the garment. She decides not to ask why Lena has spare clothes in her office; the answer would either be wildly unprofessional (even inappropriate, despite this new dynamic of theirs) or really, really _sad_. "Oh, and these are the papers she dropped. I thought they might be important."

"Thank you," Lena says with a sigh, seemingly recognizing what the papers are for. "You can change in my restroom, if you'd like. It's the door towards the back."

Kara nods and awkwardly does just that, shutting the door behind her and trying not to hyperventilate. She feels _odd_ about this, suddenly crossing every boundary Jess has been cautioning her not to for the past year. (Also, it's weird to be half-dressed when she can hear Lena talking outside, likely calling Jess over her headset.)

Lena's shirt _is_ a little snug, and it stands out against Kara's khaki slacks, but otherwise it doesn't look too bad. She takes her ruined button-up and leaves the (weirdly) spacious bathroom, only to stop in her tracks when she realizes the reason why Lena was talking was because Veronica had taken it upon herself to enter Lena's office anyway.

They both turn to look when the bathroom door opens, Lena with a pained wince and Veronica with an airy lift of both eyebrows.

"I'm sorry," Kara blurts out. "I'm just—going to go. Thank you, again, Ms. Luthor." She exits before Lena can say anything, pretending she did not see the way Veronica's hand had been resting on Lena's waist.

.

.

.

Veronica Sinclair is the most selfish woman Lena has ever met.

She makes Veronica leave after a full two hours or so of arguing. Veronica doesn't dare to rescind her investments in Luthor Corp; she's too good a businesswoman to do that. What she is, however, is petty enough to make cruel judgements of Kara; to ridicule Lena's struggle to appear caring to the public; to mention how well Lex would be welcomed back into the company were Lena to step down.

And, apparently, she is bold enough to ask Lena if she'd like to give them another try.

Lena sits at her desk and stares at the spot where Veronica had been. She still can feel the phantom warmth of Veronica's fingertips on her waist, can still picture that smirk tugging on Veronica's lips she used to kiss away once upon a time. It's not for any melancholy reason; she and Veronica are terrible for each other and she knows it. But—and there is always a _but_ —Lena can't help but miss it sometimes. Not what they had. Just the idea that they had something, the idea that they mattered enough to each other once.

But Lena can't entertain anything even if she wanted to. And she doesn't want to, to be perfectly honest. It's easy to think about the way she and Veronica used to be good together: on each other's arm at parties, smiling for cameras, stealing kisses on late nights at work. It's also easy to think about the way they were absolutely awful together: fighting over paperwork, fucking in Lena's office, accusing each other of being jealous and toxic. They brought out the worst of each other. There's no reason why Lena would ever take Veronica back even if she didn't need to marry Kara Danvers.

But Lena finds herself unable to look away from where Veronica was standing. She blames it on being sentimental, on the fact that she hasn't seen Veronica in months, and finally tears her eyes away and calls Jess to her office.

A minute later, Jess is at her door. "Ms. Luthor," she says from the door. "What can I help you with?"

"I need your help, Jess," Lena says, and she must look truly desperate, because Jess shuts the door behind her without another word.

"I can blacklist Veronica Sinclair if necessary," Jess says simply. "Just say the word."

"I appreciate the sentiment, but the board would blacklist _me_ if I tried to go after Veronica," Lena scoffs, warmed by the thought that her assistant would risk so much just to support her. "This isn't about Veronica. It's about Kara."

"I see." Jess doesn't say anything else, just takes a seat and waits patiently for Lena to elaborate. (She's always been a good listener.)

Lena takes a moment to gather her thoughts, to finally form the worries she's kept pushed to the back of her mind. "She seems trustworthy," she says, finally. "But I'm not sure what she gets out of this. I tried to offer some compensation for her involvement in this mess and all she wanted was for me to go meet hr family. It's not even a favor! It's—it's something I would have done regardless, because we need to keep up appearances. I can't get a good read of what she _wants_."

Jess hides an amused smile behind her hand. "Lena," she says, "Kara is just not interested in your money or your prestige. She's a good person trying to help you in any way she can. There's no one with purer intentions than her."

"That's," Lena blinks, "...odd. Do you really think she wants nothing?"

"I didn't say that." Jess leans forward, sympathetic. "Look. I know you want to believe everyone is out to get you. You're afraid of lowering your walls and trusting this complete stranger, and I get that. But Kara doesn't. I think what she wants is for you to trust her."

"I trust her," Lena protests, but it's weak even to her own ears. Jess is unmoved by the statement, anyhow. "Okay, you're right. I don't know how to trust her. I don't even know how to act around her. I'm supposed to _marry_ her, Jess. And I don't know anything about her."

"Then fix that," says Jess, patient in the best way. "I think you know exactly what you need to do: sit down, talk to her, discuss everything. Become friends. You're going to have to spend a lot of time with her, you know. She's the one doing you this huge favor; the least you can do is extend an olive branch."

Lena drums her fingers on her desk pensively. "An olive branch," she echoes lowly. "I'm not sure how I can do that."

"Lucky for you, I do," Jess says. "I know you have been looking at rings, to hold up the charade. And it just so happens...that I know Kara's ring size."

"...can you make a run to the jeweler's?

"What else do you pay me for?"'

It takes them a while to select the perfect ring, one Lena hopes is simple but elegant enough. Lena makes a few calls and finds the right jewelry store that will have exactly what she needs, and quickly; after that it's nothing but waiting for Jess to get the ring fitted and back before Kara leaves for the day.

Lena tries to do some work after Jess leaves. But it's been hard to concentrate as of late; she's just been so stressed with the idea of having to get married and what that means. She doesn't want an actual wedding in a church or anything. For her, the paperwork would be enough. But if Kara wants a wedding—or worse, her family does—then Lena will have to fund it all. Obviously. (There's no way she's going to let Kara pay for it.) Then there is the obvious question of where they're going to live, because if they get married and live in separate apartments that will not bode well for the image they're presenting.

It's too much. Lena resolves to do as Jess advised and sit down with Kara to discuss this all before she gets carried away and starts stressing more than she already has. Lena lets her thoughts wander to Kara's family instead, which is an entirely new source of stress. She doesn't even know if _Kara_ hates her, and yet she can already imagine the reception of people who _do_ hate her. She's never had to meet anyone's parents before either, so that adds a whole layer to the issue. Veronica hadn't been serious enough to take Lena to meet her parents, but Veronica had already met Lena's mother enough times to know that Lilian loved her. Veronica was perhaps the only woman that Lilian Luthor approved of, but Lena isn't holding her breath for the same reception from Kara's parents.

Lena pushes the thought from her mind too. It's not even time to start thinking about the trip she's going to have to take to get to the coast, so she forces herself to review some of the proposals Veronica had brought over. She hates to admit it, but if there's one thing she and Veronica can agree on, it's business. Some of these proposals, considering how Veronica's money will come into play, are actually _good_. She sets aside a few to review with the board and starts to comb through her email, which is a lengthy enough task that it feels like minutes have passed instead of the hours it has been by the time Jess comes back.

"I got it," Jess says, out of breath when she bursts through the door. "It was too short notice to get a nice box, but they gave me this one instead. I can check if somewhere else has—"

"No, Jess, thank you. This is perfect," Lena says, getting up to meet Jess halfway as she grasps the box in Jess's hands. She feels nervous, jittery, as if she's about to propose for real, like she expects Kara to say yes or no. "Should I..."

Jess grips Lena's hand over the box, her touch relaying a message Lena can't voice. "I'll call Kara in," she says, pitying but gentle. "Don't worry. She's the best person you could ever marry for a few months."

Lena laughs, despite herself. "I wish I could marry you instead," she murmurs. "It would be so much simpler."

"Now that would have been simpler for you, but not your wallet. You couldn't afford me, Ms. Luthor," Jess says with a teasing wink and Lena feels her nervousness dissipate; she always feels so at ease whenever Jess is around. There's just something comforting about having Jess, the closest thing to a friend she's ever had, supporting her with this.

"Well, send her in if she hasn't left home yet," Lena says. "I hope you're right about her."

"Me too," Jess says quietly, and then she's gone.

Lena gazes out of her balcony window. The sun is just beginning to set, but the last fading rays of light illuminate the velvet box in her hand. She tentatively cracks it open, runs the pads of her fingers over its outline. It is a beautiful ring, its rose gold band studded with small diamonds all twisting like the shape of two infinity symbols from both sides to connect with the larger diamond in the middle. Lena is no romantic, but she feels a pang of despondence. She almost wishes she hadn't gotten the ring after all.

A small knock to her office door startles her. She shuts the ring box and clears her throat; it's now or never. "Come in," she says, firm and unwavering.

Kara walks in, and Lena had forgotten all about her shirt; it surprises her for a second to see Kara in Lena's shirt (and has it always been that _small_? It looks like it's about to bust off of Kara's shoulders). "Jess said you wanted to see me?" Kara asks. She has her bag slung over her shoulder, likely about to leave for the day.

"Yes," Lena swallows thickly, stepping away from the window. "I'm sorry to keep you."

"It's not a problem," Kara says politely, though the way her eyes shift to the clock on Lena's wall tells a different story.

"Still. I'll just take a minute of your time," Lena says, moving close enough to Kara that Kara's eyes fall down to the box in Lena's hands. "I would get down on one knee, but I don't think my skirt will let me. So..." She opens the box and holds it out hesitantly. "I figure we should get our story straight. And I owe you a ring."

Kara's jaw drops. "Is that—wait. Are you proposing to me?"

"Technically, yes," Lena says. She takes the ring out when Kara doesn't move to, holding out her hand but stopping just before she takes Kara's. "May I?"

Kara lets Lena slip the ring on her finger in her bewilderment. Lena lets both of her her hands smooth over Kara's for a moment to admire how the ring looks, sparkling beautifully even in the low light of Lena's office. (And it fits perfectly, thank God.)

"It's—it's beautiful, don't get me wrong," Kara says after a long, pregnant pause. Her eyes alternate between darting to Lena's face and then at the ring on her own finger, wide and confused. "But I can't accept this! It's, it's too _much_."

"Engaged people typically have rings," Lena reminds her. "And I wanted to do this. Even if you don't keep the ring—which is understandable, I know you would have no need for an engagement ring—you're welcome to sell it, or pawn it, when this is all done with. I want to show you that I...that I trust you. And I appreciate everything you're doing for me."

"Or we can count this is a loan," Kara counters. "And I can return it to you when we get divorced."

Lena frowns, because there's no way in hell that's happening. "Well, I'm sure we can discuss that when the time comes," is what she ultimately settles to say. She sees Kara eye the clock again and she remembers what Kara had said about keeping her late at work, so she is quick to add, "I meant it when I said I wouldn't keep you. You're welcome to go home, Ms. Danvers. Is it possible to grab lunch with you tomorrow? I'd love to talk about the details of our soon-to-be marriage."

"Yeah, that would be great." Kara beams, pushing up her glasses. "Thank you, Lena. For—the shirt. And the ring, I guess? Sorry. It just—it's _weird_ , right? You think this is weird?"

"It is very weird," Lena agrees, laughing awkwardly when Kara does. "I have to admit, I've never imagined proposing to anyone, let alone getting married."

"Then I guess we're on the same page, because I have never imagined being proposed to," Kara replies. She seems unable to look away from the ring, perhaps a little wistfully, and Lena senses there's a story she doesn't know yet.

"I hope we can fully work together on this," Lena says. "In the future, that is. You have been here much too long already. Please, go home, call it a day."

"Right, yes," Kara says, looking back up. "I'll just—I'll have to take the ring off to go home, but..."

Lena nods. She understands; one of the stipulations of the deal was not to reveal their engagement until the right moment. "Just don't lose it. It was expensive," she jokes.

Kara shifts her bag over her shoulder and smiles, polite like an employee would. "Goodnight, Ms. Luthor," she says. "I mean—Lena."

"Goodnight, Kara," Lena echoes the goodbye, staring long at the door after Kara leaves. She feels good about this, suddenly. Kara seems trustworthy. At the very least, she seems to have a good heart. The olive branch doesn't seem to have worked as well as intended, but that's alright. They have time to get to know each other, to make this believable, to make it seem like they're in love instead of basically strangers.

(Maybe she should give Kara a raise.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i changed my tumblr url! so you can find me over at [pippytmi](https://pippytmi.tumblr.com/) now. come talk to me! i recognize some of the ppl who follow me by your usernames here and i want to express my love for you all. thank you all so much for reading; the support for this story has been overwhelming omg


	3. if i let you in, you'd just want out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have to post this and run! yikes sorry i really don't like this chapter??? it was pretty unnecessary fluff stuff??? but hopefully after this it picks up the pace in terms of timeline, so it's not day-after-day and more like week-after-week instead. 
> 
> (next chapter is going to for sure be the road trip chapter i planned this whole fic around obviously)

There's someone in her office.

It's too early for Jess to be here. In fact, no one except security and Lena are ever here this early. But as Lena walks down the hall to her office, she immediately notices that the door to her office is cracked open, not enough to give her an idea of who is in there but enough to give her pause outside the door. She has half a mind to reach for the taser she keeps in her purse or call security; unannounced visitors are not a common occurrence.

She doesn't get the chance to do either.

"Lena, took you long enough!" Lex crows, throwing open the door so suddenly Lena jumps. He looks _awful_ , for a lack of a better word; his tie is undone, his suit wrinkled, his hair tousled and eyes alight with so much energy that Lena suspects he hasn't slept a wink all night.

"Have you ever heard of _calling_?" Lena gripes, shoving him out of the doorway. "I was about to call security on you."

"They let me in! Perks of being the ex CEO," Lex laughs, unfazed by the way Lena stalks past him to get to her desk. "I hope you don't mind, but I got a little whiskey from your stash."

"A little, or a lot?" Lena asks, setting her purse down and trying to busy herself so she won't look at her brother. But she's unable to; there is just something about Lex, something magnetic, that drives her to look at him again after a minute when he doesn't budge to move.

He's grinning back, unfazed by the frosty reception. "Just enough," he replies vaguely. "Come on, Lena! Get a glass. I want to make a toast." When Lena crosses her arms and doesn't move, he takes it upon himself to start rummaging through her stuff.

Lena lets him shove a glass in her hand. She even lets him pour her a few fingers of whiskey. "Why are you here so early, Lex?" she questions, finally.

"Couldn't sleep," Lex says, knocking his glass against hers. His has substantially more whiskey than hers does, but Lena doesn't mention that. "And I wanted to drop by before you get too busy with your CEO duties. I know what it's like, you know. It's pretty tough." He takes a sip out of his glass and sighs, light and dopey.

"You're _scaring_ me," Lena says. "What happened?"

"What do you mean what happened? You're _engaged_ , Lena. That's fucking fantastic!" Lex laughs, clinking his glass against hers again, this time so hard some of the whiskey sloshes over the edge. " _That's_ why we need to toast. Holy shit, right? You're getting married!"

"I told you this days ago," Lena says. "What's really going on?"

"This is it, I promise! I've just—I've had an epiphany. You know how it is when you get one of those? You just have to hammer it out. Gotta get your brain moving, keep busy," Lex rants, pacing around Lena's desk like a madman. "You're going to get married. Wow. This is real."

Lena shifts uncomfortably. "Yes, I'm getting married," she says. "It's not a big deal."

"But it _is_ ," Lex insists, coming to a stop right in front of Lena's balcony window. It is an eerie sight, with the lights of her office off and the rising sun just barely illuminating indoors. "Mom was so worried you would get deported, you know."

Lena scoffs at that. "Oh, I'm sure," she says condescendingly, swirling her glass a little before biting the bullet and taking a sip. It burns pleasantly, but its taste lingers sourly. Toothpaste and whiskey don't mix.

"No, no, you should have seen her. She called me, worried out of her mind because she knew that I would have to come back to the company," Lex continues. His crazed smile is gone when he turns around, his eyes softer. "She was sure the board would be okay with it, but Lena. That would be— _terrible_."

Lena stares at him for a moment, unaware where he's taking his spiel. "So you're... _glad_ I'm not being deported?"

"Of course! God, what would I do without you here?" That wild smile is back, and Lex winks at her as he drops down in Lena's desk chair. "I'm not saying that just because I'd rather jump off your balcony than take over your job, either."

It takes longer than Lena would like to admit to fully comprehend Lex's words. "Wait." She sets down her glass before she drops it, unable to mask her surprise. "What do you mean? Lex—this was _your_ job."

"And it was great, sure," Lex says with a flippant wave of his hand. "But I hated it, and you knew that—let's be honest. It took a run-in with the fuzz to get that through my mind, I guess. But _you_ , you're doing a great job with the company already. And I know you and Mom don't see eye-to-eye on a lot of things—"

"That's the understatement of the century," Lena murmurs.

"—but you're doing real work, not trying to break into the weapons industry and shit like I was. I really wanted to be some sort of global tycoon. I didn't realize how much work it took, of course..."

"Lex, what exactly has mother said about all this?" Lena cuts him off, careful not to look too invested in his answer. "About my engagement."

"What do you mean? She's shocked you're getting married, sure. But hey, so am I! You never told me about your girl," Lex says. He hesitates before he speaks next, clearly conflicted about what he's about to say. "And I know that was my fault. I was so busy traveling the world that I missed my baby sister falling in love."

Lena's resolve crumbles. "Lex," she says, all but begging. "That's not your fault."

"It is," Lex insists, and now it makes sense, the restless state he was in when Lena first walked in. He's blaming himself for everything, resting so much of Lena's lies on his shoulders that Lena suddenly feels sick to her stomach. "I haven't been around lately. What sort of brother doesn't even know that his sister got engaged? Why did it take an immigration lawyer for you to tell me?"

 _Because it's a lie. Because everything is a lie_ , Lena wants to admit.

"I should've told you," is what she says instead. She feels weird towering over him like this, him gazing up at her reverently. "I just didn't know how. I didn't mean to," _lie to you_ , "fall in love. It was supposed to be casual..."

"Until it wasn't," Lex finishes. He gets up and sets his glass down, gripping both of Lena's shoulders warmly once his hands are free. His smile is bittersweet, but he looks younger all of a sudden, curly hair falling over his ears, even though his jaw is covered in stubble and his eyes heavy with sadness. "Tell me all about her," he says. "Let's make up for lost time."

Lena thinks about Jess—and by extension, what she said about olive branches—and feels conflicted. There is nothing more that she'd like to do than confide in her brother about everything: about Kara, about her mother, about just how scared she really is about losing not only the company but the only world she's ever known. But the painful truth is she doesn't know if she can trust Lex. That's the worst feeling in the world, to not be able to trust the brother who she used to tell everything, to not be able to trust the only person who made her feel welcome in the Luthor family.

"Let's get dinner," Lena suggests, instead. "I'll tell you all about her then. And you can tell me all about Mexico, about Greece, about India..."

Lex's answering grin is blinding, toothy and youthful. "Deal," he says, wrapping his arms securely around her. "I missed you."

Lena hugs back, ashamed to say she grips his shoulders a tad too tightly, briefly letting her eyes flutter shut. She lets his warmth, the familiar scent of his cologne, overtake her completely. When was the last time she hugged him? When was the last time she hugged _anyone_?

"I missed you, too," she whispers. It's the most truthful thing she's told him lately.

He lets go too soon, scratching at his jaw with a sheepish chuckle. "Sorry I barged in your office, by the way," he says. "I should probably get home. Get some sleep."

"Yes, you go do that," Lena says, smoothing her hands over the lapels over his suit jacket before pushing his chest back lightly. "You look awful."

"Thanks, sis. I can always count on you to make my day," Lex laughs, and as if he needs to show he doesn't mean it, he gives Lena's forehead a quick kiss. It's like he's back to his youthful CEO days, brushing kisses on the forehead of babies, award-winning grin shining. But that youth—that energy—is directed at Lena instead, and the thought weighs her down even after he's left.

Outside, she can hear the tell-tale sounds of her employees arriving. She goes to her door and watches Lex walk away, jovially throwing hellos and good mornings as he walks down the hallway. The early risers look about as awful as Lena feels, but the sight of Lex makes them brighten; he has that effect on people. Lena, on the other hand...

Well. It's lucky if her employees even make fearful eye contact when she does her rounds.

"Hey, boss," says a voice behind her. Jess is standing there, headset in place and tablet in hand, when Lena turns. "Ready to get started?" She doesn't mention Lex, and for that, Lena is grateful.

"Yes," Lena says, blinking back to reality. She takes one last look at Lex, exiting the premises, and notices (with a sinking heart) that he's stopped to talk to a just-arrived Kara. But she doesn't have time to fix that, so: "Let's go through my schedule."

.

.

.

"Hey! You're Lena's girlfriend!"

Kara is already running late as it is, so she's trying to be discreet as she gets to her desk. But at the unfamiliar voice behind her, she freezes; so much for sneaking in before Jess notices. Lex Luthor comes striding over to her desk, beaming widely, and it takes Kara a moment to realize he's talking to her.

"You are her girlfriend, right?" Lex asks when Kara doesn't reply. "Oh, my bad, I mean fiancé."

Kara fruitlessly looks around for a way out. "Yes, hi," she relents when it's clear Lena or Jess can't save her now. "Mr. Luthor, it's a honor to formally meet you."

"None of that mister stuff, c'mon!" Lex exclaims. "It's Lex. We're going to be family, you know." He shakes Kara's hand with too much enthusiasm for someone in the office at 6:30 A.M., not bothered that Kara is much less enthusiastic.

"Right, of course," Kara laughs awkwardly.

Lex drops her hand with one final squeeze, smile morphing into something apologetic. "Sorry to just bombard you," he says. "But I didn't get a chance to properly meet you before. Say, Lena and I were going to get dinner tonight. Would you come? I'd love to get to know you better."

"I-I couldn't intrude..."

"You wouldn't be," Lex promises. "Just think about it. I swear I don't bite!"

"I'll, um, think about it," Kara agrees. "It is very kind of you to offer."

"There you go again, being so formal." Lex shakes his head. "We've got to change that."

Kara is hyperaware of the people around her desk watching them; to these people who have been working here since before Kara's time—these people who worked under Lex—Kara must be an entire new mystery. Mostly because Lex has just announced to the whole world that Kara is engaged to their boss.

"I'm sorry," Kara says. "Force of habit."

Lex smiles. "Habits can change," he says, like it's a promise. "I won't keep you. I know my sister probably overworks you as it is. Unless, of course, dating the boss gives you some extra perks..."

Kara frowns. "That would be illegal," she says.

Lex laughs, sticking his hands in his pockets and regarding Kara with a curious twinkle in his eye. "What a match made in heaven," he quips. "See you—Kara, right?" When Kara nods in confirmation, his smile only grows. "Kara. See you at dinner."

"Right. Bye...Lex," Kara says, smiling politely until he's gone. Then she breathes and starts to unpack before Jess can get on her ass about correctness and preparedness—the two words Kara's heard every day for the past year.

She gets a nagging feeling that she's being watched. A cursory glance at the cubicles behind her pretty much confirms the fact that, yes, the employees from earlier are still watching her. Pretty unabashedly, too. But then the click of heels sound and the onlookers bury themselves in work, heads ducking down in fear.

But it's not Lena. It's just Jess, wearing something higher than pumps for once. Kara could kiss her in relief.

"Ms. Luthor is preparing notes for her nine o'clock meeting," Jess says. "I will be answering calls up until then, so I need you to go down to IT and get someone to fix Ms. Luthor's computer."

"Got it," Kara says, grabbing the paperwork necessary to fill out a work order.

"And Kara?"

"Yes?"

"You forgot to put on your ring," Jess says, touching the bare spot on her own finger to demonstrate.

"Shoot," Kara swears, digging into her purse. She could've sworn she remembered to put it on, but at the very least she remembered to bring it. She slips it on her finger and looks up again, but Jess is already gone, heels clicking in her wake. Kara's thank you dies on her lips, and she picks up the paperwork again.

At least Jess has her back. Sort of.

When Kara actually _does_ go down to the IT branch, she realizes that gossip spreads through this office faster than wildfire. People who usually tell her hello hide in their cubicles. Security guards who usually smile and joke with her stand rigid, chins lifted up when she passes. Even the guy from IT who usually flirts with her scurries away when she walks in. (The last one is sort of appreciated.)

Kara tries not to be hurt by it. But she is! She's a social person and she likes being around so many friendly people. And now they think she's a direct line to the boss and therefore someone to be avoided.

Then it hits her. If this is how she's treated just because she's engaged to Lena, how is _Lena_ treated? Does no one tell her hello in the hallways? Does no one smile at her? Does no one treat her like she's a _person_? Not for the first time since she's gotten to know Lena more, Kara feels a pang of sympathy hit her chest.

(Lena Luthor is severely _misjudged_ , and it's not fair).

Kara calls Alex just before her lunch starts. "I've become a social pariah, Alex," she says without preamble. Or as much as a hello.

"Aren't you at work?" Alex asks. Her voice is barely audible over children screaming, metal clanging, and electronic buzzes that indicate she's the unlucky teacher stuck with cafeteria duty. "I shouldn't even be on the phone."

"Alex." Kara pouts even if Alex can't see it. "Didn't you hear me?"

"Yes, Kara, you're a social pariah," Alex parrots back, but her words must finally sink in because a second later she says, "Wait. What?"

"Everyone at work found out I'm en—in a relationship. WIth Lena," Kara says, catching her slip-up before it turns out disastrous. "And no one trusts me anymore!"

"Yeah, because they think you're going to stab them in their backs," Alex says. If Kara was a betting woman, she would bet her life savings that Alex is rolling her eyes. "I know Lena's, like, the devil incarnate—"

"That is _not_ true."

"Okay, I know she's not exactly...favored by her employees," Alex amends.

"What do you mean she's not favored by her employees?" Kara furrows her brow.

"Everyone hates her, Kara. I'm sorry to break it to you," Alex says. "Reporters haven't stepped in her office in over a year. She fires so many people that Maggie's up to her neck in weird revenge plots and death threats. Even her own mom has given statements saying that her daughter's going about business the wrong way."

Kara grips her phone hard. "Alex, did you have Winn hack her?" she whisper-shouts in the phone, eyes darting to Jess's desk. Thankfully, Jess remains unaware of Kara's meltdown.

"No! It was just a normal background check. I had Maggie get it."

"That's..." Kara trails off, pinching the bridge of her nose and sighing. "Look. Lena's not like that. I know she isn't! There's no way."

"You've only been working for her about a year, Kara." Alex's voice is softer, empathetic. "I know you don't see it. But you need to take the romance goggles off. There has to be a reason why she's so hated. Maybe you should talk to her about it."

"I'm not going to tell her my paranoid sister is digging up her past," Kara argues. "You just don't understand her! You don't know what she's been through!"

"You're right," Alex says. "I don't." And then she levels Kara with her next words: "Do you?"

.

.

.

Jess knocks—unnecessarily—on Lena's door. "Ms. Danvers is here to see you for your lunch, Ms. Luthor," she says once Lena calls her in. "I ordered you both salads from the place on 47th."

Lena sighs. "Thank you, Jess," she says, beginning to organize the papers strewn over her desk. "You can let her in. And you know you don't have to knock, right?"

"I've learned my lesson from the Veronica days," Jess says, dropping the bag of food on Lena's desk.

Lena rolls her eyes at the memory. "You won't let me live that down, will you?"

Jess's only answer is a smirk, and then she's gone and Kara is coming up in her place.

"Hey," Kara says, giving an awkward half-wave and tentative smile.

"Hey," Lena echoes. "I, um, got you lunch."

"You didn't have to do that," Kara automatically says. "I mean. Not that I don't appreciate it..."

Lena doesn't have time for the blundering, or the mess of apologies, and much the awkward small talk. "Let's sit on the couch," she suggests. "We have a lot we need to talk about."

Kara's smile drops. "Right," she says. "Of course." She goes to take a seat while Lena takes the food, hand going up to readjust her glasses nervously. "So, full disclosure. The office may know that we're engaged now?"

Lena's shin hits the edge of the coffee table. "Fuck," she swears, dropping the bag onto the table in her surprise. (She really needs to talk to Kara about springing on news like that). "What do you mean they know? _How_ do they know?"

"I-I didn't mean to reveal anything! It's just, your brother came by my desk and—"

"Lex, of course," Lena mutters, sitting down on the couch with a heavy groan. "It's fine, Kara. He doesn't know it's supposed to be a secret." She grabs her phone and sends Jess a quick text, detailing a company-wide email she needs within the hour. One making sure no one breathes a word of this to the press or their families lest her employees suddenly find themselves without a job.

"I'm still sorry." Kara is quiet, twiddling her thumbs for a minute. "Are you sure you're okay with telling my family next week?"

"Yes, that's fine." Lena jabs the send button harder than necessary, gritting her teeth when she realizes the wifi is so shitty it's just ending up in her drafts. "I need IT to fix the internet. Make a note for a work order."

Kara starts to pat her pockets down for a pencil. "Can I—?" she starts, head tilting towards Lena's desk.

"Go ahead," Lena sighs, gesturing uselessly as Kara scrambles up to go find a pen. "What's mine is yours now, anyway." It comes out more bitter than intended, and maybe that's why Kara hesitates so much when she sits back down.

"So we should really discuss this whole marriage thing," Kara blurts out. "Before it gets too late."

That is exactly what they need to do. That's the only reason why Kara is sitting here, so close that their thighs are nearly touching, and yet Lena can't find it in herself to want to discuss this. It'll only end in a headache. And maybe even more paperwork.

But instead of pushing it aside, she says, "Right." She unpacks their lunch and hands Kara a salad and a fork, digging into her own meal to get some calories in before she tries to over think. "I'm thinking we can get a marriage license after the interview is over with. Do you want a formal wedding?"

"Not really?" Kara crinkles her nose. "Is that...something you'd want?"

"No," Lena says. "But if your family would find it suspicious if you didn't, we can have a small ceremony. The press would benefit either way."

"I guess it would be suspicious if we didn't have a real wedding." Kara intently studies her salad, pushing the lettuce around with her fork. "It doesn't have to be big."

"We can set that for soon afterwards, then. The quicker the better," Lena says. She refrains from adding _like ripping off a band-aid_ , because somehow it seems that will add insult to injury. There's something indistinguishable in Kara's eyes, a mix of melancholy sadness and worry perhaps; at the very least, something Lena can't decipher. She's never been apt at reading emotions.

"Would I be able to keep my job once we're married?" Kara asks, suddenly. "Or would it be unethical?"

Of all the questions Lena anticipates, this isn't one of them. "I don't see why it would be," she replies unsurely. "I could reassign you if you'd prefer, but I don't think it would be an issue."

"Okay." Kara's body visibly relaxes, and she sags into the couch with a quiet sigh. "We would have to move in together, wouldn't we?"

"Yes, for all intents and purposes," Lena says. "My apartment is pretty big. But if you want, we can stay at yours instead."

Kara shakes her head. "I, um," she says. "I live with a roommate. It's her apartment, and her lease, so..."

"My place it is," Lena says wryly. "I have an extra bedroom. You can move in whenever, it doesn't matter. I imagine you'll want to let your roommate find a new roommate first."

Kara nods. They sit in uncomfortable silence, Lena stabbing her kale and Kara tapping the edge of her bowl. Eventually Kara breaks the silence to ask,

"What about my Dad's birthday?"

"It's next weekend, isn't it?" Lena says. "What about it?"

"We're going to have to pretend that we're...you know..." Kara trails off, going bright red.

"In love?" Lena finishes. She quirks an eyebrow, unimpressed. "That's the least of my worries. I'll need to pack and arrange us a plane—"

"Oh no, I actually thought we'd go driving. We're all making a road trip of it," Kara says. "I-if that's okay with you, of course."

"A road trip. Lovely," Lena says, refraining from making a face. She hates flying, but she hates long drives even more. "Should I arrange for a hotel, at least?"

Kara assures her she has no need to, explaining something about a beach house that should have enough rooms to fit them all. She even shows Lena pictures of the house. And of the other people going on the trip with them: her mother, her sister, her sister's wife, their daughter, and three of her closest friends.

"And my dad," Kara adds. "He's not really my dad. But he lives next door to Eliza—that's my mom—and he's been there for me ever since I moved in with the Danvers so he's sort of like my dad. And he's obviously going because it's _his_ party—"

"Got it," Lena says, cutting her off before Kara somehow manages to run out of air. "Should I bring a present?"

"Oh, I got him something," Kara says, waving the idea off. "I'll just put your name on it."

"Okay," Lena says, making a mental note to run background checks on everyone Kara's showed her. "Then I guess we're doing this."

"I guess we are," Kara agrees, and when Lena looks at her, she's smiling.

.

.

.

(Lena cancels the dinner plans. Kara doesn't know if she's relieved or offended.) 

Lucy is sleeping on the couch when Kara gets home, face smushed against the cushions, snoring quietly even though she swears she doesn't snore. She's just worked a ten hour shift, so Kara resolves not to tell her about the news yet about moving out. What she _does_ do is throw a blanket over Lucy and turn off the TV that's likely been acting as background noise. (Lucy hates silence.)

Kara goes to the kitchen to fix herself dinner. Well, sort of dinner. It's just pancakes and scrambled eggs—which isn't really a dinner food—but it's easy and it's not takeout so it's already a far step ahead of what she usually has.

"Kara?" Lucy calls, voice thick with sleep. It seems Kara accidentally woke her. "You're home late again."

"Yeah, I had to finish something at work," Kara says. "Do you want eggs?"

Lucy doesn't answer. When Kara pokes her head out of the kitchen, she sees it's because Lucy has rolled off the couch and is currently groaning into the carpet.

"Eggs, yes or no?" Kara repeats. "Have you eaten?"

"No eggs," Lucy says, nearly falling over again as she stands up, shakily brushing off her pants. She's still in her uniform, hair still pinned up, and she uncomfortably pulls at her bun. "I ordered pizza. There's some in the fridge, if you want."

They end up sitting at their kitchen table that's really a low coffee table, eating cold pizza and sharing Kara's pancakes. Kara eats her eggs with ketchup and Lucy fake gags; then Lucy sandwiches her pizza in a rolled-over pancake sticky with syrup and Kara returns the favor. And they talk about their jobs, about Lucy's dating life (or lack thereof), and even the weather before Lucy breaks and says,

"So what's this Alex is telling me about you dating Lena Luthor?"

Kara's pizza stops halfway to her mouth. "Oh my God, Lucy, I totally forgot to tell you, too."

"You sure did forget," Lucy snorts. "Six months? Really? How did you manage to hide that?" She narrows her eyes, a thought dawning. "I swear, Kara, if you snuck her in here while I was sleeping to have sex on _my couch_ —"

"I never snuck her in here!" Kara cries, cheeks burning hot. "And I wouldn't—that's unsanitary!"

"Oh, I get it," Lucy scoffs. "Too ashamed to show off your apartment to your fancy, rich girlfriend?"

"No, that's not it either," Kara says, frustrated enough that she sets down her pizza altogether. "We didn't mean for it to be serious. And I didn't want to bring her by to meet you if it ended badly, so it was just—easier to keep it in the office."

Lucy raises her eyebrows. "So _that's_ why you're always so late home," she gasps. "Holy shit, you're banging the boss after hours. And you're getting paid to do it. Is this what your communications major taught you? Because oh man, I need to get on your level."

Kara feels like she's about to have a stroke. "There is no banging!" she exclaims.

"Well, then I guess that explains why she's so uptight," Lucy says. "Alex complained for, like, an hour about why your new girlfriend's sort of a bitch."

"She's not a bitch," Kara argues. "That's mean."

"That's why I said _sort of_ a bitch."

Kara shakes her head. "Lena's a good person," she says. "I know it. Even though she comes across as a little cold, she's just—trying her best. I think she'll surprise you."

"That's right, I get to meet her," Lucy says, a smirk making its way on her lips. "She's getting a shovel talk."

" _Lucy_."

"I'm messing with you. It's a joke," Lucy teases, kicking Kara's leg. "I would, but Alex will probably have you covered."

"No one's giving Lena a shovel talk," Kara says. "I want her to have fun. And to _not_ stress for once."

"Oh, I see," Lucy says with a mischievous quirk of her lips. "This is your little getaway, isn't it? How sexy."

Kara's jaw drops. "You are _so_ —" she stops when Lucy starts to laugh, rolling her eyes when the laughter doesn't let up for a full minute. "You're delirious and you need sleep. Come on, go to bed. And take off your uniform!"

"Okay, Mom," Lucy says, but the quip morphs into a sheepish yawn. "Want to help me with my hair?"

"No," Kara says, but she sits obediently on the edge of the couch and works out the bobby pins as Lucy gathers the freed hair to the side. "I don't know how you'll ever live by yourself."

"So long as you and your boss don't elope anytime soon, I won't have to," Lucy jokes.

Kara's fingers still. "Right," she says belatedly, yanking a pin out harder than intended. She's glad Lucy can't see her in this position, because suddenly she feels a sinking guilt, drawing her mouth into a worried line that Lucy remains unaware of.

"Hey, watch your hands, I have thin hair," Lucy says, smacking at Kara's fingers. "Was it because I made an eloping joke? Too soon?"

"It's been a year," Kara says, shaking her head even though Lucy can't see it. "I'm over it."

"You don't have to be over it," Lucy says. She turns around, and Kara can see that the laughter is gone; Lucy looks regretful, eyes softened and smile gone. "Are you happy? With Lena?"

"Yes," Kara promises, but her heart picks up at the lie. "I wouldn't bring her to meet you if I wasn't sure."

"Okay." Lucy seems to sense there's something Kara isn't telling her, but she doesn't press. She tucks a strand of hair behind Kara's ear and says, "That's all I care about. Need help washing dishes?"

"I've got it. _You_ got to bed," Kara says, pushing Lucy's shoulder lightly; she hopes it conveys her thanks in a way she'd get too choked up over if she tried to say it aloud. The guilt is beginning to overwhelm her now, cold and heavy in the pit of her stomach, but her words seem to satisfy Lucy.

"Don't have to tell me twice," Lucy says with a small, understanding smile. She disappears down the hallway after good-naturedly shoving Kara's shoulder in return, feet padding over the carpet in slow, sleepy movements.

Kara leans back into the couch and exhales deeply. This is going to be harder than she thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk to me over at [pippytmi](https://pippytmi.tumblr.com/)! or just send me ur fics. that works too.


	4. i know i never make this easy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i literally told [anna](https://sapphicswimmer.tumblr.com/) i was going to update this fic and she said "sounds fake but ok" and like. mood.
> 
> seriously though? i have no real excuse as to why i never got this pointless filler chapter out of the way - i just wasn't inspired to keep working on this, so i rushed this a liiitle. and i made a lot of mistakes, probably, but it's here! that's something!
> 
> it's almost midnight and i'm going to crash right after i post this probably but just know that this weekend im going to commit to try & finish the next chapter of "you and me" next ok (just don't hold me to it lol)

Lena regrets this the instant her eyes fall on Kara's car.

The sun is just rising, casting the rest of the apartment parking lot in shadow, but Kara's car—her dusty, old car—remains ominously illuminated. Lena tries not to grimace outwardly over it, trying her best to smile as she sets her luggage up into the trunk.

"Let me get the cooler so we can get on the road," Kara says. "Oh! And you're welcome to take one of my sweaters thrown in the backseat, I know it's a little chilly."

Lena gingerly picks one up as Kara leaves, still a bit untrusting of the state of Kara's car. The inside doesn't seem as bad as the outside, as least; it's moderately clean, and smells vaguely like the pine air freshener hanging from the mirror.

But she doesn't complain, because Kara is being kind enough to entertain her foolish plan already. The least Lena can do is give up her first class flying, and take a few days off work.

That is not to say that she's not worrying, though. She's already sent Jess at least three emails covering her duties for the day, and Jess hasn't replied to a single one. Lena is seriously considering texting her as well, and she would have done it already except Kara's coming back and she's looking at Lena oddly—worriedly, even—and Lena feels like she's being judged.

"Is everything okay?" Kara asks as she rolls a giant cooler over to the parking lot. She is as cautiously polite as always, though she doesn't hide the way her gaze flickers to the phone Lena keeps sneaking glances at.

Lena tucks her cell phone back into her purse, all too aware of how rude she seems. "Yes, absolutely," she says, and quickly changes the subject. "Do you, um, need some help?"

"Oh no, I've got it!" Kara assures her. "I'll set this in the back so we can actually go. Do you want something before we get going? Water? Some cookies?"

"I'm fine," Lena says. "Thank you, though."

Kara nods, already busying herself with packing everything left into the backseat. "I'll drive," she offers. "So shotgun's all yours—Lucy left with James already, so it'll just be the two of us."

That is yet another reason Kara has to be judging Lena; she was late to show up, and now Kara's roommate left without them. And that's not even mentioning everything else Lena's done, like pack twice as much as Kara has—and revealed that she hates long drives much too late. Anyone else would have been annoyed, but Kara doesn't seem upset about it.

Logically, Lena knows it's because she's a Luthor. Everyone around her is used to putting up with the small, trivial affairs of her life. Kara most of all, considering she's been working with Jess for almost a year now. Though, she does have to admit, it's odd to see Kara do it with a smile on her face.

"We can stop for breakfast somewhere," Kara says as she gets into the driver's seat, awfully chipper considering how awkward the situation is. "Do you mind if I play music?"

Kara is a very focused driver, as it turns out. Just not in a particularly safe way. She keeps a top 40 station low on the radio, singing under her breath, tapping her fingers against the steering wheel when a good song comes on; she slams her foot down on the brake when they get too close to yellow lights; she never fails to turn on her turning signal; she speeds up to pass but never ten above the speed limit. It's an odd mix of proper and improper driving habits, and Lena spends a while quietly watching all of this.

It's much easier to appraise someone through action sometimes, and everything Kara Danvers does is a mystery. Lena forces herself to tuck her phone away, and focus on learning everything she can about Kara before she has to meet Kara's family.

"Do you sing often?" is the only question Lena actually manages to get out.

Kara is visibly surprised by the break in silence, curiously glancing over at Lena before remembering to keep her eyes on the road. "I guess so? I was, um," she coughs. "I was in an acapella group in college."

"You're kidding. Acapella?"

"Everyone was doing it," Kara defends herself. "And we weren't that bad."

"Acapella," Lena repeats. A laugh escapes before she can help herself; this situation is ridiculous and somehow it's the knowledge that Kara Danvers sang acapella that gets her. "God, that fits you perfectly."

"I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not," Kara says. There's a hint of a smile to her voice when she returns the question, next. "So do you sing?"

"Not if I can help it," Lena says. "I have a terrible voice."

"So I can't tell my parents we bonded over late-night karaoke?"

"You certainly can't."

Kara laughs. "No singing, got it," she says. "What _should_ I tell my parents? They're going to want to know our epic love story."

"I wasn't aware it was an epic love story," Lena says, faintly intrigued by the way Kara's cheeks color pink.

"Well, obviously," Kara says, gripping the steering wheel tighter. "I'm marrying you, aren't I? That's a pretty big deal."

It's a sobering thought, that, and it makes Lena sigh. "I'm not good at making up things," she admits. "To be completely honest, I'm not so sure I can pull this off."

"Hey, sure you can. If anyone is the subpar actress here, it's me! In front of your lawyer you were really good. I mean, I would've bought it."

"Fooling Snapper Carr isn't hard," Lena says. "Lawyers generally are easy to trick."

"I'm...going to pretend I didn't hear that," says Kara slowly.

Lena makes a note to not bring up the questionable ethics in this entire plan, since it's clear Kara seems uncomfortable with the thought. Instead, she says,

"How far did you say this house is?"

"I thought it was a few hours away, but it may take a bit longer than expected," Kara says apologetically. "But we'll get there before dark, I'm sure. Ooh, there's food at the next exit. Do you want breakfast?"

Lena says yes. She's not entirely sure why, since she's not even hungry.

Kara picks the first place they come across, a small diner with a sign proclaiming they have the best milkshakes in the world. In reality, the entire establishment looks questionable, old and weathered like it's been standing for a few years too many, but Kara lights up at the sight of it anyway.

Inside, it's as shabby as it is outside; the tables are chipped, the space empty, and it's so quiet that they can hear every drum of the waitress's nails on the counter.

Kara picks a table by the windows, sunlight streaking through her hair when Lena sits down across from her. The waitress, who seems to be the only person there besides the cook and an elderly couple in the corner, comes by and brings two menus.

Lena doesn't look at it. Kara immediately opens hers.

"What can I get you guys to drink?" the waitress asks, long nails clicking tiredly against the notepad in her hand. Her eyes look as sleepy as she sounds, unblinking even as Kara gives her a sunny grin in greeting.

Lena eyes some of the dirty glasses lining the kitchen counter and almost doesn't order anything at all, but when Kara looks at her expectantly she begrudgingly says, "I'll just have some water."

"Water? Really?" Kara crinkles her nose disbelievingly, pointedly sliding her open menu onto Lena's side of the table. "Lena, they have milkshakes."

"It's seven in the morning, Kara," Lena says, gently pushing it back. "And milkshakes aren't really my thing."

"Milkshakes are everyone's thing," Kara insists, and she turns to the waitress. "I'll have a chocolate milkshake, please."

"You got it," the waitress says. "You want chocolate chips in it?"

Kara's eyes widen. "That's a _thing_?"

Lena adds that to the slowly-growing list of odd things Kara Danvers does: get too excited about sweets. And food, in general, because after the waitress leaves Kara pores over the menu at least three times.

"So if milkshakes aren't your thing," Kara says as she flips through the pages, "what is?"

Lena toys with the edge of her own menu and wonders what _is_ her thing. "I like green juice," she says, finally. It's the first thing that comes to mind, and to be perfectly honest, she's never really shared stuff like this with anyone.

"Why would your juice be green?"

"For the same reason your milkshake would have chocolate chips, I'd wager," Lena says. "I'm a select health aficionado."

"I'm more of a...not that," Kara says, crinkling her nose. "No offense."

"None taken," Lena says, and it's amusing how quickly they fall back into silence.

It isn't exactly an awkward moment of time, but it sure is close. Kara drops her eyes back to the menu, and Lena mirrors the action but really looks at Kara from the corner of her eye. There is nothing that gives away her reluctance, exactly, but it's quite obvious that Kara doesn't seem very at ease with the situation. She sits up a tad too stiff, and ignores her buzzing cell phone as if trying not to seem rude.

(It makes Lena uncomfortable, suddenly).

"You know, you don't have to—" Lena starts, then stops, not sure where she's even taking this as Kara's head snaps up. "I'm not just your boss anymore." At the confused look Kara dons, she clarifies, "You don't have to act like I'm your boss right now. Treat me like you would, say, your roommate."

Kara accepts that with a polite nod of her head. "Of course," she says. "But I really wouldn't want to marry Lucy. She's got too much baggage."

Now baggage, that's something Lena knows all about. But she smiles anyway. "Thank you," she says. "We _are_ supposed to know each other very well by now. Unless I get you a printed handout of everything about me, I'd say we need all the time we can get."

"Oh, I have one of those," Kara says flippantly, but she freezes as soon as the words leave her mouth. "Not for—for anything _weird_. It was Jess's idea! She gave it to me, and I've been trying to memorize it, you know, because—I feel like I should? I already knew most of it anyway."

"You do?" Lena blinks in surprise; Jess hadn't mentioned that at all.

"I have been working for you for a while," Kara reminds her, though it's said sheepishly, with a graceless nudge of her glasses. "It's really very basic things. Your allergies, your family tree, your tattoo—"

"My _tattoo_?"

"...am I not supposed to know about that? I was the one who scheduled the tattoo removal last month that you didn't go to…" Kara trails off, face flushing a bright red that can rival Lena's. "I can never bring that up again if you want."

Lena clears her throat, immediately embarrassed. "No, that's—fine," she says. "Jess must have really dedicated herself to this. I guess that leaves me as the one who needs to learn more about you, then."

Kara shrugs, quite obviously just as embarrassed as Lena is. "I'm an open book," she says. "I don't think you have too much to worry about."

"But I know nothing about you," Lena points out. She feels bad about it, even; has she really been this detached from the lives of her employees? She knows she's never been the most _personal_ person, definitely not the most emotional, but she's drawing a blank even on Kara's file as she looks into Kara's eyes.

"Lucky for you we have plenty of time," Kara says cheerfully, and she holds out her menu again. "Do you want to split some pancakes?"

Cheerfulness that remains unmatched: just another thing added to Lena's checklist of odd things about Kara Danvers. She seems so unwaveringly _naïve_ sometimes, so purely innocent, and Lena doesn't know what to do about it. Jess, at least, was obviously right about her; if Lena can confidently say one thing about Kara, it's that she's devoted to playing her part.

So Lena plays her part too: "Sure," she says, "let's share pancakes."

.

.

.

Kara doesn't know if this is going _well_ , to be perfectly honest.

Lena appears out of her element here, wearing Kara's sweatshirt and frowning at the scenery as she gazes out of the window. But she also seems quieter, more unsure than Kara has ever witnessed her act with others. It must come with the fact that she has to leave her guard down for once, and it's actually kind of sad to think about.

And that's not even mentioning how _Kara_ feels, because the awkwardness of going from never speaking to her boss unless necessary to having to prompt Lena into sharing bits about her life is definitely trippy. She has to bite her lip at least twice a minute to keep from blurting out something dumb out of sheer nervousness, and debates cranking up the music higher to fill the empty silence.

"What's your family like?" asks Lena, suddenly. "You know what my family is like"—here, it sounds like there's an unsaid _unfortunately_ —"but I don't think I know anything about yours. Besides the fact that they hate me, of course."

The last part is said with a slight smirk, and Kara almost crashes the car for the sheer amount of time she steals panicked glances Lena's direction. It's a joke, but it still makes Kara feel immensely _guilty_.

"Um, well, we're all very close," Kara says anyway, trying to laugh along. "Family's never been about blood, you know? So friendship, and love, and all that—er, cheesy stuff. We're big on that."

"My family has always put an emphasis on blood, I suppose," Lena says slowly. "My mother does love reminding me I'm not a Luthor by blood, not that anyone else lets me escape it."

"Do you want to escape it?" Kara asks before she realizes what she's done, but for her credit, Lena doesn't seem too swayed by the prying.

"Not necessarily," she says. "But I think everyone wants what they can't have, right? Even for a little bit, just to see what it's like."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"Kara," Lena interrupts, and she sounds faintly amused, now. "Don't apologize. I think you of all people should get to ask whatever you want."

"It's kind of rude, though," Kara protests weakly, and the corners of Lena's mouth tug upwards into an almost-smile.

"We do have to know each other pretty well if we want to pull this off," Lena reminds her. "Would you mind if I asked you some questions of my own?"

It's so terribly formal that Kara feels a little better; she even smiles to herself. "No, go ahead," she says.

A moment of quiet passes before Lena asks, "Well—what's your favorite color?"

Kara doesn't remember the last time she was asked such a simple question. Since she was a kid, even. "You know, I'm not sure," she says. "Yellow, maybe. But I like lots of colors! What's yours?"

"Blue," Lena says, and doesn't elaborate. "What about your favorite band? Do you have one?"

"Does a boy band count? Because NYSNC is pretty good. I had a big crush on Justin Timberlake when I was younger. Oh, and on Britney Spears."

"...I was devastated when they broke up."

"Right?! Oh my gosh, Alex had to console me for hours—I was pretty much convinced that love was dead," Kara laughs, and she hears Lena laugh too, even if she tries to hide it behind her hand. "Really, you can ask her. I wouldn't let her play any of their music for two days straight because I felt so betrayed."

For a while they just talk, sharing the most random bits of information they can. Kara learns Lena likes to cook, and that she reads a lot, and is compulsive shopper like the best of them. Lena learns about Kara's embarrassing habit of stress baking, and her inability to cook well, and the fact that she got the scar on her face from trying to fly off the roof of the house as a kid.

"That was all Alex's fault, for the record," Kara is sure to declare, and Lena laughs again.

She really becomes someone else when she laughs, corners of her eyes crinkling and a dimple flashing on her cheek, so beautifully free before she stops herself. Kara has to make an effort to look away each time, feeling oddly warm in the pit of her stomach.

"Lex never was that type of sibling," Lena says. "He never wanted to see me get in trouble. I was this scared ten-year-old girl who didn't know how to act around a new family, and he always tried to make me feel at home. Of course he was a regular pain in the ass, sometimes, but he always did make me feel safe."

"He seems nice," Kara says, which isn't untrue. "And he really wanted to welcome me, too, so...I can see he cares."

The mention of Kara's encounter with Lex just makes Lena sigh. "Oh, God, I forgot about that," she says. "I'm sorry he even bothered you. He and I...we're not kids anymore, let's just say that."

"It's okay," Kara says. "I don't mind, really. And like I said, he seems nice."

"He is," Lena says, softly, as if more to herself than Kara.

The sun is high in the sky by now, and Kara thinks about lunch before she can stop herself. She tries not to let herself get too distracted though, and just focuses on driving. She hears her phone go off _again_ , and she tells herself she hasn't been avoiding Alex's calls, but also it's clear that Lena keeps looking at her curiously every time it happens.

"Um," Kara ventures to say, "do you think you could answer that for me? And put it on speaker? It's probably Alex."

"Oh, sure," Lena says, picking up Kara's cell phone. She angles it towards Kara's face, and Kara gives her a grateful smile.

"Hey, Alex," she calls. "What's up?"

"You haven't caught up, that's what's up," Alex's voice crackles through, shaky and barely audible. "We all met up by the forty-five, where were you?"

"We got a late start, that's all," Kara says. "We're making good time though! We'll probably get there before dark."

"I should've gone with you. Winn's driving me crazy, all he'll play is Michael Bublé," Alex complains. "He seems to think it's good for Jamie to listen to. I think he's gotten mixed up with Beethoven for some reason."

Kara laughs. "And she loves it?" she guesses.

"I made Winn put down the music or else you'd hear her trying to sing along," Alex says. "Maggie is somehow sleeping through the entire thing."

"Is Jamie there? Can I say hi?"

"She is, she's been trying to get out of her car seat to talk to you," Alex says. "Jamie, I'm going to let you talk to Aunt Kara, okay? But you can't grab the phone because your hands are dirty."

Vaguely, Kara can hear Jamie's protests, but the idea of talking on the phone must win out because eventually she hears a bright, "Kar-a!"

" _Aunt_ Kara," Alex corrects, but Jamie doesn't listen.

"Kara, Kara, Kara," Jamie babbles. "We got candy!"

"Oh my gosh, really?" Kara says. "What kind?"

Jamie pauses. "Candy!" she repeats, and Alex comes back with an annoyed,

"Winn conveniently forgot to hide his stash of Reese's cups, that fu—that idiot."

"Ityot," Jamie repeats, and Kara laughs at the sound of Alex groaning again.

"I'd better let you sort that out," Kara offers.

"Save me," Alex says grimly, and she bids Kara goodbye as Jamie starts yelling at Winn for music again.

Kara is still smiling for a good while afterwards, warmed at the thought of seeing everyone again soon, that she almost forgets about the inevitable stressful nature of this weekend's trip.

"Kara?"

At the hesitant question, Kara is brought back to reality. "Yeah?"

"I...I want to thank you, for what you're doing," Lena says. Kara doesn't risk glancing her way, for fear that she'll get too distracted again, but she hears the tone of Lena's voice and can imagine her reluctance as she speaks. "It means so much more than you know. And I know you think anyone would have done the same, but I know no one else would have."

"I'm sure that's not true," Kara tries, but Lena doesn't let her continue.

"And I know I sprung it on you without warning," Lena says. "So if you want an out—well. I'm just trying to say I won't hold it against you."

"Come on," Kara says awkwardly, wishing she could fidget with her glasses, "what's one marriage between...um," she wants to say _friends_ but doesn't, and instead stammers out, "a boss and her assistant."

Lena just ducks her head and looks away, and doesn't say anything else; Kara doesn't blame her for it. She should've stuck to focusing on this weekend, not bringing up _marriage_. She should've just said something like _you're welcome_ , too, instead of rambling on.

She blames it on the lack of food. "Hey," she says, quickly, "can you reach in the back for a bag of chips? I'm kind of hungry."

Lena wordlessly grabs the Doritos, and it sort of feels like a proper road trip after that, stealing bites of chips in between merging lanes while some pop/electronic song plays on the radio. Kara has to admit she misses Lucy there, singing along and stealing all of Kara's gummy bears, but Lena isn't bad company either; she even indulges Kara and tries a Cool Ranch Dorito, something she's never tried before. She deems it the most disgusting thing she's ever tasted, and takes a bag of pretzels instead, but still. She's trying, Kara can tell, and some of the tension from earlier disappears.

"I have other stuff in the back too," Kara offers. "Like candy. Or some other chip flavors."

"I don't eat junk food that much," Lena says, half-hugging the pretzel bag; Kara hears it crinkle. "I'd rather stick with these."

"Are you sure? You can try Nacho Cheese Doritos, too."

"That sounds even _worse_ ," Lena says, and Kara laughs.

(She feels like they can be friends through this, honestly and truly, and the thought cheers her up.)

.

.

.

Lena doesn't remember falling asleep, but she must have at one point; she wakes up startled and disoriented, a hat falling off her head as she jerks awake.

She runs her fingers through her messy hair and gathers her bearings, casting a curious glance first at Kara—who has probably been driving nonstop, oh God—and then outside, where in the dim light of the sinking sun she realizes they're already by the coast, the ocean peeking out beyond desert hills.

"Hey," Kara says, offering a small smile when Lena looks at her. "Sorry I didn't wake you up, but I figured you'd need the rest."

"Have you been driving this entire time?" Lena asks, equal parts horrified as she is embarrassed. "I'm so sorry, I meant to help you out."

"No, it's fine! Besides, I thought you couldn't drive?"

"...I can drive," Lena says, confused.

"Oh, well, it's just—that packet Jess gave me said you can't," Kara says. "She put that under the category of things not to let you do. Number three was go real estate shopping, which I'm kinda curious about."

Lena feels her cheeks grow hot. "It's complicated," she says vaguely, and quickly changes the subject. "Are we almost there?"

"Yup! Just about ten minutes out," Kara says. "You'll love the house, it's one we rent pretty regularly."

Lena had forgotten that they don't have a hotel; she resists the urge to groan. "Please tell me it has wifi," she says, casting a forlorn glance at her phone alit with numerous emails and notifications.

"It does, but—you're not supposed to be working! It's, it's like we're on vacation," Kara cries, sounding as if Lena's just suggested they drive into the ocean or something as equally absurd.

Lena gives her an incredulous look. "I'm not paying you vacation leave," she says automatically, defensively, and regrets it the instant she says it; it sounds prickly, annoyed, and it clearly makes Kara deflate.

"That's not…" Kara trails off, tapping her fingers against the steering wheel. "Sorry."

Lena swallows thickly, and looks down at her hands with a quiet sigh. "No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound so rude," she says. "I'm still a bit groggy, I guess." Kara nods, accepting the answer, but Lena pushes forward. "And a little nervous, to be honest."

"Don't be," Kara says. "They'll love you! Well, they kind of don't love you _now_ , but they'll change their minds once they meet you, I'm sure. And you don't have to worry about trying to impress them or anything...you don't even have to spend too much time with them, if you don't want to!"

Kara's rambling is sort of endearing, Lena has to admit; it makes her feel the tiniest bit better. "I want to play the part right," she counters, politely refusing the suggestion. She doesn't want to be the reason Kara isolates herself from her family for this trip, after all. So: "Count me in for anything you have planned with your family."

"They really are very nice," Kara promises, shoulders relaxing slightly at Lena's words. But there is an underlying tension in the way she clenches her jaw, in the way she grips the steering wheel too tightly as they pull up into what must be the driveway of the house.

For a beach house, it doesn't have the usual grandeur Lena is used to; it seems more homey, bordering on simple. It is painted a garish yellow, all two stories of it, and varying sized pieces of brown cobblestone lead up to what looks like a ripped screen door.

"Last chance to stop while you're ahead?" Lena tries to joke, and Kara gives her a huff of laughter in return.

"Well, we're already this far," she says wryly.

The instant they're parked, Kara goes to get the luggage. Lena follows, but she has to admit she lingers by the passenger door; she feels overwhelmed, suddenly, at the smell of salty air and at the sound of crashing waves in the distance. She can't remember the last time she came to the beach. She can't remember the last time she even took some time off work.

She definitely can't remember the last time she spent time with anyone besides Jess, or any of the stuffy members of the board. She's certainly never done anything as rash as take a road trip hours away from the company.

But this is a small sacrifice to pay, she thinks, even as she and Kara make their way up the cobblestone path.

Kara shoulders her way inside. It's dimly lit, only the kitchen light on, and Lena is surprised to see no one else there.

The small kitchen is empty, save for a box of children's juices on the counter that have been torn into. The living room is just as small, packed with three couches against the wall, a winding staircase leading up to a second floor just beyond it. There really isn't much to look at, but Lena takes it all in anyway.

"I usually take the room upstairs," Kara says, gesturing with one hand. "Unless Alex decided to steal it, I think that's where we'll be. Do you want to take your stuff up there? I still need to go get the cooler."

"Sure," Lena says, gripping her suitcase handle firmly, because she hadn't thought about this before but of course—she'll _have_ to share a room with Kara. It would be strange not to.

The stairs lead to one sole bedroom, the only room of the second floor that isn't really a second floor so much as it is a weird half-floor. It is a spacious room, with a queen sized bed and an attached bathroom, but the most attractive quality would have to be its view; a sliding door that Lena gingerly slides open leads to a wide balcony overlooking the beach, so high that she could touch the roof if she reached sideways.

From here, she can see joggers making their way down the sand and kites flying low from the next house over. It feels like she's been transported to a dreamy, isolated world where there are few people and fewer problems.

This is where Kara finds her minutes later, and she doesn't say a word as she, too, comes out onto the balcony. At least, not at first. She and Lena stand side-by-side, watching the waves roar and the kites soar and they let that be the only world they know for a moment.

The spell is broken when Kara speaks. "Everyone is mostly asleep," she says, "so we can worry about introductions tomorrow."

(That's a relief, but Lena doesn't say so. She figures that might be a tad too rude.)

"You should get some sleep, too," Lena says instead. "You were driving for too long."

"That can wait," Kara scoffs. "I'm _starving_. Want to go raid the kitchen? They probably have something you'd like."

Lena shrugs, tugging at the edge of Kara's sweatshirt that she still hasn't taken off. "Okay," she says. "As long as it's not chips."

That makes Kara smile sheepishly, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "Maggie's a vegan," she says as they make their way back inside, and then down the stairs. "So she'll probably have...vegetables."

"You're really selling it," Lena says with a smile of her own, and as they reach the bottom she realizes they're not alone.

Someone else is sitting at the kitchen counter, poking at a juice box with one hand and pouring cereal with the other, a woman Kara gleefully addresses as _Maggie_!

"Hey, Danvers," Maggie says, an obvious heaviness in her voice that shows how exhausted she is, but she grins just as widely as anyone might expect as Kara rushes to hug her. "Quiet, you'll wake up Jamie. It took her ages to pass out."

"We just got here," Kara whispers excitedly. "Where's J'onn? Is he here yet?"

"Eliza brought him, he's in the room across of ours," Maggie says. "He and Eliza are sharing because Lucy stole his room."

"What? Oh my gosh," Kara groans. "It's _his_ birthday!"

"Well, you did kind of replace her as your roommate," Maggie says, and she looks past Kara to Lena with a curious quirk of her lips. "Hey. Luthor, right? I'm Maggie."

Lena nods in her direction. "Hi," she says lamely, not sure what else to say.

"Golly, I meant to introduce you! Ugh, I wanted to do this _properly_ , and now—"

"You can re-do it tomorrow," Maggie cuts Kara off before she can fully ramble. She takes her bowl of cereal in both hands and says, "I'm going to eat outside. Turn off the lights when you're done?"

As far as first introductions go, it's not as bad as expected. Lena eats a bowl of sugary cereal with Kara in relatively peaceful silence, and tries not to let herself worry too much. She thinks about Jess, about the company, about her family and tries to banish any and all thinking related to that; right now, she needs to focus on Kara.

(Kara, who looks like she's about to fall asleep into her bowl, but whatever—she digresses.)

They make their way upstairs once again to the final issue of the night: the bed.

The _one_ solitary bed.

Kara immediately starts setting up a pile of blankets on the stone floor, and Lena frowns.

"This is your room," she protests. "I can't let you sleep on the floor."

"You're my guest," Kara negates. "Besides, I don't mind." She even locks the bedroom door, and at Lena's questioning look, clarifies, "Lucy's nosey. She'll definitely try to ambush us in the morning."

That does nothing to quell Lena's worries about Kara's family, but she does surrender to Kara's wishes and takes the bed, settling back onto the scratchy sheets once she's changed into pajamas.

Kara is fast asleep by then, breathing deeply and evenly, and Lena listens to her and gazes up at the ceiling and hopes—not for the first time—that she's not in too deep over her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so, so much to everyone who commented last chapter & even sent me messages about this fic on tumblr! you guys made me commit to this fic again; i couldn't leave it abandoned when so many nice people wanted me to keep on writing this shit! so hopefully i don't let u all down lmao i will try my hardest !
> 
> and you can find me on [tumblr](https://pippytmi.tumblr.com/) to see some other random stuff i write, stuff i plan to write, etc. and always feel free to bother me w/updating stuff because lord knows i need the reminder agdhjdkfcldfkl


	5. this kiss is something i can't risk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh woww it's been literally. months. it is so ironic how much this fic used to be my favorite and just how quickly that's changed l o l . i know this chapter reads a little rough; it's certainly not my best work to date. but hopefully next chapter will be longer + more eventful, and maybe it might even come out before next year. who knows??
> 
> every person who's continued to comment on this fic...or message me about it...or just bother me in general about updating? i owe you my entire life. it's what kept me going while writing & rewriting & muddling through this chapter. so thank you so much if that was you. seriously. it means SO much more than you know.
> 
> fingers crossed my next fic to get updated is "you and me" ! that chapter's slowly getting chipped at too, i promise!

For one blissful moment Kara thinks she's woken up by chance.

The room is still dark, and quiet enough that even the faint crashes of waves are barely audible. She feels wonderfully relaxed, warm and content with the knowledge that she’s almost-but-not-really on vacation and doesn’t have to go to work today. 

Then the second pillow comes flying, and it hits her square in the nose. "Lucy, what the _hell_ ," she mumbles, batting it off and trying to burrow back under the blankets. Unfortunately, her cheek comes into contact with the flat, freezing floor, and it’s just then that she remembers she's not actually in bed.

And, now that she gathers her bearings, she hears a hushed voice whispering. “Kara,” it says. “Kara, wake up.”

Her memory comes flooding back to her at the all-too-familiar sound of Lena Luthor's voice. Instead of the hard edge Kara is used to hearing from her boss when it comes to demands, this tone of voice is lower, panicked, and for a second Kara wonders if she’s imagining it.

But a hard rap against the door finally connects the dots: that has to be Lucy.

Kara scrambles to her feet, nearly tripping over the blankets in her haste. “Just a minute!” she yells as she attempts to get the room in order. She picks up the pillows Lena had thrown and tosses them back—barely managing not to hit Lena in the face—before she heaps the blankets she'd taken onto the foot of the bed.

In between the frenzy, she tries to give Lena an apologetic glance. She _means_ to, really, but when she looks at Lena she finds herself freezing. 

The way Lena looks now in the hazy light of the morning is absolutely something else. The extent of casual Lena Luthor attire that Kara has witnessed is rumpled dress shirts, stray hairs falling out of an otherwise immaculate ponytail, and slacks instead of a skirt. But _truly_ casual Lena Luthor is hair so messy it's escaped its braid, sweatshirt slipping off her shoulder to reveal bare skin, and a bleary look in her eye that she rubs away with a tired yawn.

Lena catches her looking quickly enough, and tugs the edge of Kara's sweatshirt up to cover the shoulder it’s exposed. "Sorry," she says nervously. "I threw a pillow at your head, didn't I?"

"No, that's," Kara tries, "I mean, I didn't mind."

Another knock at the door sounds, and it gives Kara the perfect opportunity to whirl away from the confused expression that Lena gives her at that.

The only way to get Lucy to go away is actually making her, so Kara slips out of the room, taking great care to only allow herself the space she needs to squeeze through and shut the door behind her. She also gets a knock of Lucy’s knuckles against her forehead for her trouble.

"Oh, hey," Lucy says nonchalantly, lowering her fist as if she hasn't been pounding the door down. "How do you feel about fish?"

Kara blinks back at her. “Fish?” is all she gets out. One would think, with the urgency of Lucy’s insistent knocking, that the situation at hand would be more dire.

“Alex and I are heading to the store and we need a third opinion on fish,” Lucy says. “Maggie already said she refuses to eat any.”

“Fish is...fine,” Kara says, still slightly taken aback. “You know, you could have texted me. You woke Lena up.”

Understanding dawns on Lucy’s face. “Ohh,” she says. “My bad.” She clicks her tongue semi-awkwardly and gestures over her shoulder, vaguely saying, “You know, Alex is waiting for me anyway. I’ll be sure to text you a head’s-up next time.”

“Wait—Lucy, it’s not like _that_ —”

“No, no, it’s really my bad!” Lucy assures her. “We’ll be back in fifteen. You two need anything?”

Kara decides to let it slip, because it’s far too early to entertain Lucy’s antics. “No. Yes. Um,” she wracks her brain to remember what Lena likes, and only manages to get out, “Green juice?”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Lucy gives a sympathetic pat to Kara’s cheek for good measure.

The instant she’s gone, Kara slips back into the bedroom. Lena’s barricaded herself in the bathroom; it gives Kara a chance to get dressed, and once she’s traded her pajamas for some shorts and a tank top she risks a knock against the bathroom door to say,

“Hey, Lena, I’m heading downstairs. I’ll, er, see you down there?” She winces to herself at how hesitant her voice sounds.

A rustle of what might be makeup tubes sounds, and then, “Okay.” Lena’s voice sounds oddly strained, but Kara doesn’t have time to overthink it.

She shuts the door quietly behind her and makes her way into Alex and Maggie’s bathroom, where she can brush her teeth with a spare toothbrush and offer a half-asleep Maggie a wave on her way out. J’onn and Eliza are already in the kitchen when she reemerges. Jamie’s there too, sitting at the counter and swinging her legs happily as she sips orange juice.

“Morning,” Eliza says, eyeing Kara’s clothes. “Were you planning on going for a run?”

“Not yet,” Kara assures her. “I thought I’d have breakfast with you guys first. And Lena.” She casts a nervous look towards the staircase, but there’s no sign of her yet.

“Well if she can get you to slow down and spend some time with your family I like her already,” Eliza teases, wiping her hands off on her shirt so she can lovingly pinch Kara’s cheek.

Kara swallows back her guilt, and focuses on producing an award-winning smile. “You’ll love her, promise,” she says. “Just—take it easy on her, okay? She’s not my boss here. She’s my girlfriend, and she’s meeting my family, so please hold any unfair judgement.”

“I wouldn’t call it unfair,” J’onn says, but he gives Kara a comforting squeeze to her shoulder before she can groan at him. “We’ll be on our best behavior, Kara. Don’t worry.”

“It’s a shame we don’t have embarrassing baby photos to flaunt, though,” Eliza adds, and this time Kara really _does_ groan.

James comes shuffling into the kitchen, momentarily distracting Kara from the anxiety gnawing on her entire being. “Hey,” he says, holding out his hand for a high-five that Jamie giggles and obliges him. “I have a vague memory of Lucy busting into my room asking me about fish. Or was that a dream?”

Kara sympathetically presses her lips together. “Not a dream. Sorry.”

“Figures,” says James, and he shakes his head as he makes his way to the coffee maker. “I’m pretty sure I told her I was allergic, which dream me apparently was. Winn somehow managed to sleep through the entire thing.”

“Lucky,” Kara says, snagging a cup so James can pour her a mug too. “So what’s the official agenda for today? I’m guessing Lucy and Alex have the party details figured out.”

James grimaces. “The fish.”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t even like fish,” J’onn says. “Should I have a say in this, or—?”

“It’s called a surprise party, J’onn,” Kara reminds him. “All you have to worry about is relaxing on the beach. Let us handle the rest.”

J’onn gives her a skeptical look. “Is that meant to be reassuring?”

“Oh, the kids are right, J’onn,” Eliza chuckles. “Let them have their fun and enjoy your vacation.”

Kara smiles to herself as J’onn repeats his doubt, quietly drawing herself away from the conversation as she opens the fridge to find some breakfast. There’s nothing substantial to be found, which is likely why Alex and Lucy went out to begin with. She settles for pouring herself a glass of orange juice like Jamie, and debates whether or not it’s worth it to wait for some real breakfast or taking her chances with the cubed pineapple in the fridge.

She leans against the table and alternates between sips of coffee and orange juice, which she’s sure is disastrous for her teeth. But she could care less right now, because she’s still watching the stairs and hoping that Lena will come and put her out of her misery.

Winn comes out first, so sleepy he almost falls over before he makes it to the table. “I need coffee,” he groans, just as James pushes a cup to him. “Oh. Hey. James, have I told you that you’re literally the best person in this world?”

“Feel free to tell me more often,” James laughs, but he looks pleased; Kara would think it was cute, if she weren’t still so worried about Lena.

And speaking of...there are footsteps.

Kara has to blink once or twice to make sure she’s seeing right. But it’s no mistake—Lena is coming down the stairs, wearing a soft red sundress and heels way too tall for the beach. She looks the least imposing she has ever been, like this; there is an uneasy expression on her face, and it translates into slow, shaky movements forward.

Before Kara can move, Eliza is already getting up out of her chair and meeting Lena halfway. “Hi, you must be Lena!” she says, clasping Lena’s hands warmly. “Kara has told us so much about you. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

Kara quickly sets her cup down so she can rush over there. “Eliza, don’t ambush her,” she says, laughing nervously. “Lena—this is Eliza, my mother.”

“Hello,” Lena says, whose hands are still trapped in Eliza’s grip. “It’s...a pleasure to meet you too.”

Kara intervenes by placing a hand on the small of Lena’s back. “I want to introduce you to everyone,” she says, almost faltering when she feels Lena stiffen at the touch. “Um. If that’s okay?”

Eliza steps back, as if the question is meant for her. “Forgive me, I’m a little excited,” she says, still smiling as Lena follows Kara over to the table.

Kara tries to breathe a little easier. “Lena, this is J’onn, a longtime family friend. And James and Winn, who are my best friends.” She feels marginally better as they each shake Lena’s hand, every person polite and engaged, and she feels Lena relax a little too. “And this is Jamie, Alex and Maggie’s daughter. Can you say hi, Jamie?”

Jamie’s always a bit shy around strangers, and she buries her face against Winn’s shoulder. “Hi,” she mumbles into his shirt, which draws a small laugh out of Lena.

“Alex and Lucy are on their way here with breakfast,” Kara tells Lena, guiding her towards the kitchen next. “Do you want coffee?”

A brief smile and a nod is her answer. “Sure.”

The small mercies of introducing her “girlfriend” means that her family doesn’t invade their privacy, and Kara can stand in the corner of the kitchen with Lena and be relatively safe from eavesdropping for the moment.

“I’m sorry,” she tells Lena quietly. “I know this must be overwhelming.”

“Don’t apologize, Kara. I knew what I was getting into,” Lena says. But she’s twitchy, fiddling with the strap of her dress over and over again. “I just...I feel wrong to be pretending.”

“I know,” Kara says, wishing she had something more reassuring to say. “Don’t worry. I’ll try to make this as painless as possible.”

Lena gives her a look she can’t quite figure out, a bit concerned and skeptical and beyond Kara’s grasp all the same. “Okay,” she says. “I’ll try my best to do the same.”

Kara wonders what she could’ve said wrong to elicit such a reaction, but it’s too late to ask; Lena is already turning towards the coffee machine and asking how it works. For as much as Kara panicked about this moment, the introduction of Lena to her family feels...underwhelming. She hadn’t expected any impolite reactions, but still—this feels suspiciously too simple to be true.

But she won’t let herself overthink it, because Lena still looks uncomfortable and Kara doesn’t want her to be. “Hey,” she finds herself saying, “can I show you around?”

So that’s what they do. Kara takes Lena’s coffee in a thermos while Lena takes off her heels, and they walk out the back door and right onto the beach; Lena is visibly taken aback by the sudden change of scenery.

“You weren’t kidding when you said it was a beach house,” Lena marvels quietly. “We’re so close to the water.”

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it? The perfect place for a not-vacation,” Kara says, aiming for light, but it only makes Lena sigh.

“Kara, I didn’t mean—”

“No, that wasn’t a complaint! I’m just...glad to be here,” Kara says as they begin to make their way down the sand. “Hopefully I can change your mind about this trip too.”

“I wasn’t aware you knew my thoughts on this trip.” Lena won’t look at Kara, arms wrapped tightly around herself as though she’s cold even if the breeze is barely strong enough to ruffle her hair.

Kara shrugs. “I don’t need to be a mind reader to know you’re not thrilled,” she says, and this garners a softer sigh.

“I’m sorry. Am I being too negative?” Lena asks. “I’m not very good at this.”

“This being…”

“I don’t know. Talking to you,” Lena says, “or...knowing I have to pretend to be in love with you for your family to take me seriously.” She comes to an abrupt stop a few feet from the shoreline, contemplative when she says next, “I know more about you and your family than I used to. But it’s not making this any easier.”

A prickle of defensiveness surges before Kara can squash it. “This was your idea,” she says, and regrets it instantly. She isn’t trying to pick a fight.

If Lena’s offended, she doesn’t show it. “I know,” is all she says in acknowledgement, but it’s not said angrily. Thoughtfully, maybe. As brief as this lapse of guardedness comes, it goes; Lena continues walking, and Kara hurries after her. 

“I have...a question,” Kara says, because she’s still not entirely sure how she’s supposed to act. 

“Shoot.” Lena takes the thermos from Kara’s hand, brushing her fingers against her skin in the process.

It’s moments like these that give Kara the most issues, because she’s still not quite sure what’s meant to be acting and what’s not meant to be. “Well,” she says cautiously, “should we set boundaries? About how we touch each other, or…”

“How formal are we thinking?” Lena’s eyes are tired, but the amusement in her voice is lively. “Would you prefer I draw up a contract?”

Kara blinks. “Was that a joke? Did you try to make a joke?”

Lena ignores her, and continues: “Whatever you’re comfortable with is fine with me, Kara. You’re the one who’s doing me a favor, so it’s only fair you get to decide what we do.”

“No pressure, or anything,” Kara mumbles, but Lena has already started walking away.

.

.

.

 

It's official: her downfall is going to come in the form of a defective shower.

The only water that is coming out of the showerhead is freezing cold, in the form of a spray so thin it feels like an outdoor hose. About three minutes into her shower it turns off altogether, and she stands there in stunned silence—shampoo in hair and all—until it comes back a full five minutes later.

It sporadically turns on and off for the rest of her shower, and it makes Lena wish she’d had the sense to book a hotel room anyway. Her frustration is translated into detangling her hair much more harshly than she’s used to; she wants nothing more than to call Jess and petulantly _complain_ about any and everything, but she can’t do that. She’s making an effort to be positive.

(And she doubts Jess would even answer. She’s the only person who can challenge Lena for a “workaholic” title.)

Lena dries off and gets dressed as swiftly as possible, in order to escape this hell of a bathroom sooner. She feels sweaty and gross; realistically she knows the wet hair against her nape is from the shower, but without her usual post-shower hair moisturizing process it feels flat and itchy. The sensation only amplifies as she steps outside and realizes that sand has gotten tracked onto the stone floor; she recoils at the grittiness, imagining that this is the most undignified she’s ever been.

If it were up to her she would hide away in this room for the rest of the weekend. But she’s made a promise. And if this is what Kara wants in exchange for something as paramount as this false marriage, well—Lena can endure these horrible conditions for the next two days.

She heads downstairs when she can’t avoid it any longer. The kitchen and living room are empty, but there are muffled shouts coming from beyond the screen door that indicate everyone must be outside. Lena automatically knows she has to find Kara; weirdly, she’s slightly anxious about the idea of being left alone without her.

The thought makes her even more uneasy than before. She’s not used to feeling out of control, and here she is, afraid to be without a woman she barely even knows. If someone were to tell her this a month ago she would’ve laughed them out of her office.

And now she’s here, tentatively leaning against the open sliding door and watching everyone move about while _longing_ for some whiskey. Eliza catches her eye and offers a reassuring smile, and Lena tries her best to mirror it.

Kara doesn’t notice her yet. She’s splayed out on the sand, playing with the little girl Lena had met earlier. Jamie’s pouring sand over her aunt’s head and Kara is just laughing—laughing in that way that makes Lena almost curious. She has a very carefree sort of laugh, one that twists into an easy grin once it tapers off. She’s so relaxed like this, unburdened by Lena’s presence, and it’s enough to make Lena’s stomach churn.

She ducks back inside, narrowly avoiding crashing right into Alex Danvers. “Sorry,” she says, stepping sideways as Alex hefts a bag of charcoal to the right before it can hit Lena.

They met at breakfast, but it had been just like the other introductions: brief, polite, nothing too emotionally taxing. But the way Alex stares at her—almost scrutinizingly—brings about a new wave of nervousness.

“No, it’s my bad,” Alex says, a beat too late. “Are you...er, okay?”

“Yes! Absolutely.” The instant the words leave her mouth Lena _knows_ she’s overdoing it, and she resists the urge to wince. “A work issue just came up.”

“Oh.” Alex’s judgement isn’t hard to read; she masks it halfheartedly, just dedicated enough to make Lena squirm. “I’ll let you deal with that then.” She leaves without another word. Lena gets the sense that she’s not made a good impression at all.

So. The prospect of winning over Kara’s family is seeming bleaker and bleaker by the minute. Lena might have to settle for “not talking shit to her face.”

If Lex were here he’d laugh her out of the building. Lena has never had to work to charm anyone before. She’s faced her face share of hatred, sure, but never from anyone actually _important_. Never from anyone whose opinion she’ll have to deal with for six months. It’s unnerving to actually think about what her future is going to look like for the next year.

The sound of the sliding door scraping open draws her out of her head. “Lena, hey, you’re here,” says another of Kara’s friends—Lucy, if Lena remembers right. “Kara’s looking for you.”

“I’ll be right out,” Lena says. “Thank you.”

Lucy does not nod and make her way back outside as Lena anticipates. Instead, she leans against the doorway and says, “You’re not going to get changed? We’re going swimming! Party tradition. We’re not taking it easy on you just because you’re new.”

Lena blinks. “Oh. Well, I don’t...know. I just showered.”

Lucy’s easy grin never falters. “Damn,” she says. “I thought I’d have you there.” She tilts her head towards the backyard and continues, “We’re still missing you out there though.”

It’s clear she won’t let Lena dawdle any longer. Lena smiles tightly and relents. “Alright, I’m coming,” she says. Lucy does not move out of the doorway, though, and once Lena gets close enough to whisper she leans in and says,

“I have a question. Did Kara ever sneak you into our apartment?”

“No?” Lena says slowly, dragging out the word carefully in case she’s missing the bigger picture here.

Lucy shakes her head. “I knew it,” she says. “You two fucked on the couch.”

And with that she’s gone. Lena takes a second to mentally prepare herself and then follows. This time Kara spots her and waves; there’s sand running down the sides of her face, and Jamie is squeezing her close to keep her from getting away.

Lena has to abandon her heels to walk towards her, and if there’s one thing she hates more than wet, gritty sand on her bare feet it’s _hot_ sand. “Hi,” she says. “Your roommate thinks you’ve snuck me into your apartment.”

Kara startles, almost choking with the way she grips onto Jamie’s arm. It’s kind of like a way of saying _don't say that, we have company_ , but it leaves a lot to be desired. Lena’s no expert, but she’s pretty sure a three-year-old is going to let slip that they’re not actually dating.

“Jamie, hon, why don’t you go play with J’onn?” Kara asks once she manages to wrestle out of her niece’s iron grip. “I’m sure he would love to make a sandcastle with you.”

“Okay.” Jamie becomes shy now that Lena is around; she doesn’t need any convincing to gather her sand toys and run off, taking care not to look directly at Lena. 

Kara rests her hands on her hips once they’re alone, conspicuous in the way her eyes dart around as she makes sure no one is within earshot. “Um,” she says. “So she thinks…”

“I hesitated too much.” Lena grimaces. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s fine. We can work with this.” Kara shakes the ends of her hair, likely to try to get rid of the sand. “I’ll be honest. I’m not sure how this is going so far. But my family likes you! I think? It’s kind of unclear. No one’s said anything.”

“That isn’t very reassuring.”

“Yeah, I figured.” Kara goes quiet. “But you don’t have to worry. It’s not like it really matters if they like you or not.”

“Right.” Something about that idea almost _stings_ , in a way that Lena cannot understand. “Is there anything you want me to do, or…”

“No! Really. Just enjoy your time away from the office, boss,” Kara says. “I can handle my family.”

That is even _less_ reassuring, but Lena doesn’t voice the thought. She also says nothing about being called “boss,” even though that sits low in her stomach uncomfortably for the next few minutes.

It’s baffling just how affected she feels. She can’t figure out why she feels so weird about it. What a picture she must ultimately make, feigned smile and dry hair and not much else to offer. She is welcomed into the festivities just as Kara had assured her she would, but it feels _off_. Everyone is too polite, too stinted in their mannerisms, playing into a facade Lena knows she’s brought upon herself but is still anxiety-inducing all the same.

Lena ends up pressed up against Kara’s shoulder as they squeeze into a table not meant for more than six people, with a plate of fish tacos before her and a beer she knows she won’t be able to stomach more than a few sips of. She is hyperaware of every inch of her body that touches Kara’s; the heat is beginning to make her sweat, which is only one of the many other horrors of this place.

Lunch is a modest affair, at least. Only Eliza tries to include Lena in the conversation; Kara, for her part, tries to deflect too many questions.

“So, we know what you do,” Eliza says, obviously meant to be warm; it makes Lena immediately stiffen nonetheless. “I guess that answers the question of how you two met.”

“Mom,” Kara says awkwardly. “Don’t give her the third degree.”

“Who’s giving her the third degree? I just want to get to know Lena better,” Eliza says. To Lena she says, “My daughter’s so dramatic, isn’t she?”

Lena rests her hand over Kara’s wrist very briefly, just to give her a small squeeze and assure her it’s okay. “I tell her the exact same thing,” she says lightly.

“You’re so mean to me,” Kara teases right back, quite noticeably relaxing. She is comfortable enough to properly take Lena’s hand, and if she’s squicked by the way it’s a little sweaty she never betrays it.

Lena scrunches her nose at her, catching the easy smile Kara is giving. “It’s tough love,” she says. “I’m an expert at it.”

Too late, she remembers they have an audience. Maybe she’s overthinking, but she swears she feels Kara’s sister stare at her—no, _glare_ —like she’s said something wrong. Then again, maybe she has; she’s torn between playing too casual and too doting, and both performances are falling flat.

“I still want a story,” declares Lucy, breaking an unspoken tension that only Lena can see. “Details! Give us something.”

“Not you too,” Kara groans, and Lucy kicks her; Lena knows, because her shin is the one who actually receives the hit. “Can’t you let Lena eat in peace?”

“I’m _curious_ ,” Lucy replies, like that’s reason enough. “Who asked out who? Who kissed who first?”

J’onn—Kara’s dad-but-not-really-her-dad, Lena reminds herself—comes to their rescue. “Don’t pry, Lucy,” he says. “That’s their business.”

“Is no one else curious? It has to be romantic,” Lucy says. “Right? A forbidden work romance? That’s the stuff out of movies.”

“It’s definitely inappropriate,” Alex finally speaks, and Lena feels her stare continue to burn against her head.

The exact moment that Alex’s words sink in, Kara bristles. “Alex,” she says. “Really?” Her voice is nothing short of disappointed; there’s no underlying anger behind it, but it’s sharp enough that Lena feels the need to hold her hand a little tighter.

For her credit, Alex does not follow up on her statement. She shrugs, and takes a large gulp of beer, thankfully looking away from Lena as she does so.

Maggie clears her throat. “So, Lena,” she deflects. “Where are you from? I noticed you have an accent.”

“You did?” Lena knows she hasn’t quite mastered an American accent yet, but she’s never gotten an outright comment about it before. “I’m, um, actually Irish.”

“That’s cool, what’s it like in Ireland?”

And that is about as exciting as their afternoon gets, at least. No one mentions Lena’s job; they ask, instead about her family. Her hobbies. Her brother. Lena gives practiced answers, and Kara chimes in when she has to. It isn’t as bad as she’d anticipated.

By the time the cake comes out she’s worn out. Everything about pretending to be in love with Kara Danvers feels like a chore—it’s as emotionally taxing as a work day, and she desperately needs a break. She declines getting a piece of cake for herself once it’s cut, excusing herself from the table under the guise of getting some water from the fridge.

At least three different people offer to bring some back for her—Kara included—but Lena assures them she’ll be fine.

If this is what being part of a proper family is like, it’s kind of...suffocating. In a way that’s not entirely unpleasant, really, but it’s odd that they never seem to get tired of each other. If Lex were here Lena thinks she might understand, but if her mother were thrown in the mix…

She shakes her head to draw herself out of her thoughts. In the fridge she finds a bottled green smoothie that definitely isn’t up to par with her usual, but some warm, strange feeling surges through her when she sees a sticky note that reads _LENA'S—DON’T TOUCH_ in Kara’s writing.

Lena squeezes her eyes shut and tries not to overthink the sensation of something missing. There’s guilt churning in her stomach, and a hole slowly growing wider and wider in her chest as she thinks about just how kind everyone has been to her so far. Bar Kara’s sister, of course, but even her one snide comment is child’s play compared to some of the harsher criticism Lena has received.

She gets the sense she should call Lex, or something. But the thought makes her uneasy, and she settles for gently placing the unopened smoothie back on the shelf and silently making her way upstairs.  
.

.

.

Kara almost forgets that Lena’s been gone for a while.

Jamie is on J’onn’s lap, smearing cake over his face because he’d refused to let Maggie smash his face into the cake—had given her an incredulous look when she had suggested it, actually—but he’s too much of a pushover with kids to deny Jamie anything. He gives everyone a warning glare if they so much as touch their phones, and it makes Kara crack up, leaning against Alex’s shoulder and sipping on lukewarm beer.

“If I could get a picture of this I would be set for life,” Alex snorts, well on her way past tipsy. “Where’s Winn? He should be trying.”

“He’s more afraid of J’onn than he is of you,” Kara points out, and Alex nods gravely like she completely understands.

They’ve just begun to barter the winnings for a bet over when Maggie would stop doubling over in breathless laughter when Eliza joins them. She brings an extra slice of cake over, but looks disappointed when she only finds the two of them there. 

“Where did Lena run off to?” Eliza asks. “She didn’t get any cake.”

“She’s a health nut,” Kara says without thinking. Then, once Eliza’s words really sink in, she scrambles to sit up straight. “She’s been gone for a while. Maybe I should check on her.”

“No, come here, don’t start running off now that I have you cornered,” Eliza says. “Alex, be a dear and make sure Winn’s not trying to light himself on fire, would you?”

The prospect of getting embarrassing video of Winn attempting to start a bonfire is enough to cheer her up, and Alex steals Kara’s beer to go and do just that. Kara doesn’t really mind; she’s happy to take cake in its place.

“Lena might have gone to bed,” Kara muses as she licks the frosting off her fork. “She has a very specific nighttime routine. I don’t know if she sticks to it even when she’s on vacation, though. I didn’t ask.”

Eliza laughs. “She seems high-maintenance,” she teases, and hugs her daughter close. “But lovely.” 

Kara rests her head on her mother's shoulder and brightens, despite herself. “So do you like her?”

“Of course. She strikes me as a bit lost, poor thing,” Eliza says. “I’m glad you brought here with you.” She tucks a strand of hair behind Kara’s ear and quietly adds, “Just don’t take anything Alex says to heart. Give her some time to adjust—she’s so protective of you sometimes.”

“All the time, more like,” Kara scoffs. She doesn’t mean to sound bitter, but she is. Just a little.

Eliza pinches the edge of her jaw for it. “Now, now, now,” she says. “You’re the same with her. Don’t pretend you’re not.”

“I never said anything _mean_ like that.”

“All she wants is for you to be happy, Kara. I know you understand where she’s coming from,” Eliza says. “But don’t you worry, I’m going to be having a talk with her too. She _was_ being very rude.”

The thought of Eliza scolding her oldest daughter makes Kara crack a smile. “Are you going to ground her?”

“I might have to, at this rate.” Eliza kisses Kara’s forehead. “Now you go check up on your girlfriend. Tell her goodnight for us.”

“Okay.” Kara nestles closer for a moment longer, not in any rush to leave just yet. 

“And Kara?”

“Mm-hm.”

“I know it’s not my place,” Eliza says. “No, of course it isn’t. But I’m sorry that you and Lena are fighting.”

Kara freezes. “We’re not...we’re not fighting,” she says. “What makes you think we’re fighting?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Lena just seems so distant,” Eliza says thoughtfully. “I can tell you're trying to hide it, but honey—I know you must be crazy about her, if you haven't given up yet. Talk through it with her whenever you're ready, alright? If this is because she thinks we don't like her, you make sure to set her straight.” 

_If only it were that simple_ , Kara thinks. Out loud she says, "Okay. Thanks, Eliza.”

Another kiss is pressed to her forehead. “Go, get going,” Eliza says. “And you get some sleep too, you hear?”

Kara hugs her mother one last time—and takes one more bite of cake—before she takes her advice and heads upstairs. The door is slightly ajar, but she still knocks, only entering when she hears Lena distractedly call,

“Come in!”

She finds Lena setting up blankets on the floor, already dressed to go to bed. Lena doesn’t spare her more than a single glance over her shoulder before she’s saying,

“I’m sorry I left. I thought I’d let you have some time alone with your family.”

“It’s okay. They missed you, though,” Kara says lightly, but at the way Lena continues to avoid her gaze tells her that’s not what she wants to hear. “Um. What are you doing? I’m still taking the floor.”

“You slept on the floor yesterday,” Lena says. “It’s only fair we switch.”

“No way, you’re still my guest,” Kara says. “I’m making this one of my conditions: you sleep on the bed. And you owe me, remember?”

“Oh, so _now_ you have conditions.” Lena almost smiles, touched, and when Kara gently tugs the pillow out of her hands she doesn’t resist. “Thank you.”

“You have a habit of thanking me a lot,” Kara says as she settles onto the floor. “It would be fine if you didn’t, you know.”

She hears the bed creak once Lena curls up on it, but it’s not loud enough to mask Lena’s huff. “I have manners, Ms. Danvers,” she says; she has a habit of slipping into being formal sometimes, and Kara doesn’t have to see her to know she’s feigning indignation.

It almost makes _her_ smile. “Right, of course,” she plays along. This moment feels easy, comfortable, and she grasps onto the feeling and tries to fall asleep with it.

Sleep doesn’t come easy. Eliza’s words are running through her mind even though they’re unbidden, and it keeps Kara significantly awake. 

Eventually she rolls over on her side and whispers, “Lena?”

“Yeah?” Lena sounds awake too. She might even be more restless than Kara is, if the way the bed keeps shifting is any indication.

Kara doesn’t know how to broach the subject, and as a result, ends up blurting it out: “My mom thinks we're fighting.”

Silence. Then, “Fantastic. We're off to a great start.”

“Do you think we’re not convincing enough?” Kara asks. “I mean, I’m sure we can fix that.”

There’s more silence. Lena might have fallen asleep, with how long it drags. Kara gets discouraged waiting for a reply and decides to try and get there herself when she hears, so faintly, 

“Kara.”

“Yeah?” she says, holding her breath.

“This is going to sound _so_ inappropriate.”

That’s...not an answer, and Kara slowly says, “Okay.”

“Would you,” and there’s another pause, another prolonged moment of hesitation, “would you sleep up here with me? I really don’t like the idea of you sleeping on the floor.”

“Oh. Well, uh, if you don’t mind…” Kara is baffled; it feels like this has come out of nowhere. That, and she’s still waiting on an answer.

“We’re professionals,” Lena says. “We can handle sharing a bed, I think.”

Professionals might be a stretch. Kara doesn’t say that out loud either, and instead wordlessly gets into bed. She’s shared this bed with Lucy lots of times, but this is without a doubt the most awkward she’s felt; she takes great care not to be too close to Lena, and is tempted to make a wall of pillows between them for good measure.

They lay side-by-side on their backs, staring up at the ceiling in stifling silence. Lena is the one who breaks it at last.

“So how can we become more convincing?” she asks. 

Kara shrugs one shoulder. “I don't know,” she admits. “I’m open to suggestions.”

Lena rolls over to look at Kara. She is propped up on one elbow, dark hair falling over her shoulders as she leans slightly forward. “Maybe,” she says, and it sounds almost _regretful_ , “maybe we need to be more affectionate.”

“Okay. Sure. I can do that.” Kara swallows, and remains steadfast in her position so she can’t see Lena’s reaction.

Lena is still looking at her; Kara can feel it. When she dares to bite the bullet and also roll over, the first thing she notes is the worried draw of Lena’s mouth in a frown.

“I’m not really sure how that...works,” Lena says.

“You don't know how being affectionate works?” Kara echoes.

“I’ve just never...I've never been really lovey-dovey with anyone,” Lena says. “I wouldn’t know how to do it.”

“That's alright. We can figure it out,” Kara offers, but all she gets is a frustrated sigh as Lena flops backwards.

“You don't understand. I'm not....I'm not sure I can be convincing enough,” Lena gripes. “I don’t think that’s something I can pick up out of the blue.”

“If you’re comfortable with it, we can practice,” Kara says. “When no one’s around, we can...stay in character?”

“I don’t know how to do even _that_ ,” says Lena glumly.

“Well, you can follow my lead,” Kara says, as cheerfully as she can muster. “I’m no expert in being lovey-dovey either, of course, but—I can try my best.”

“Okay. I trust you,” Lena says, which surprises Kara enough to leave her speechless. Lena Luthor is notorious for not trusting anyone, obviously, but there’s a definite distinction with matters like these; she’s vulnerable like this, forced to be less cold, less distant, and it must be hard when that’s all she knows.

“Would it be alright if I kissed you right now?” Kara finds herself asking. “To practice,” she hastily adds, in case it's not clear. She doesn’t know what compels her to even ask. She rationalizes that this is something like a trust fall—she’s asking to see what Lena would be open to, not for any other reason (like, say, the peculiar way that the moonlight frames Lena’s face that makes Kara momentarily forget she’s looking at her _boss_ ).

Lena mouths _oh_ inaudibly, quite clearly caught by surprise. A prickle of embarrassment crawls up the back of Kara’s neck, and her cheeks burn; she swiftly rolls onto her back so she won’t have to face Lena any longer.

“I’m sorry,” Kara gets out. “Just forget I said that.”

The bed shifts again. This time, it’s because Lena is moving...closer? “No, that—that makes sense,” Lena says lowly. “If you’re okay with it.”

And Kara has to take a minute to really think about this. Because if they do this there’s no going back, really—any semblance of boundaries they’ve kept are thinning as it is, and this will surely take them to the point of no return if it’s too weird.

She can see this going two ways, really. Either it’s too weird and she won’t be able to look Lena in the eye anymore, or it will be so inconsequential it won’t matter it ever happened.

Kara hangs onto her hope for the second. Very, _very_ briefly, she darts forward and kisses Lena. It’s nothing but a peck, and she suspects Lena kept her eyes open the entire time, because when she draws back Lena is blinking owlishly at her.

“Was that okay?

Lena seems to find her voice. “Yes,” she says. “It was okay.”

“I don’t want us to seem too awkward, if I kiss you tomorrow,” Kara says, the urge to explain overpowering her desire not to make a big deal out of it. “So it won’t...be our first.”

“Will you kiss me tomorrow?” Lena asks, slowly, like she almost doesn’t want to know the answer.

“If it feels right,” Kara says. “You know, if it—feels natural. I won’t kiss you at any random moment, I promise.”

Lena nods, but even slower than before. “And do you think that will make us seem convincing?”

“I hope so,” Kara says, slightly unnerved by the way Lena’s eyes seem to scrutinize her in the dark, darting over every inch of her face as if she’s trying to figure her out. “Do you think it will?”

“I don’t know,” Lena says, a pensive furrow of her brow marring an otherwise curious expression. “Would you mind if I tried?”

“If you tried…”

“To kiss you,” Lena says matter-of-factly.

Kara swallows, mouth suddenly gone dry. “No, go ahead,” she says.

With a grim sort of determination, Lena reaches out to touch Kara's cheek, continuing to observe her intently—but with a flush of pink over her cheeks that Kara can just barely manage to make out. Her touch is so light it feels like it's not there at first, fingertips ghosting over the edge of Kara's jaw, and then Lena finally leans in to kiss her more firmly.

This kiss isn’t weird, either. But it’s also not brief; it’s more exploratory, and Kara can feel every minuscule shift of Lena's mouth, the way she kisses so gently but in a manner that’s almost fearful, like she's afraid she's doing something wrong. 

Then she’s gone, and so is her hand, and she’s seemingly shrinking away. “Was that okay?” Lena asks.

Kara thinks she says yes. Lena holds her gaze for a few seconds, an incomprehensible pensive edge in her eyes. Even in the dark Kara can see the way Lena seems to be softening, and she is struck with the fact that Lena is beautiful. Sure, she's _known_ that, kept as a fact in the back of her mind just like every other fact she knows about her.

But here she's so close Kara feels like she can see right through her. Here she’s not a Luthor. Here she’s not her boss. Here she is just Lena, equally as worried as Kara is about making this work. Kara thinks she understands Lena a little better, now.

“Goodnight, Lena," Kara blurts out when it gets to be too much, turning back so she can stare up at the ceiling. She tries to ignore the way her heart quickens, pounding insistently in her ears, so loud she fears that even Lena can hear it.

It takes a minute of pretending she's sleeping before she hears, "Goodnight...Kara."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! ❤️


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